Je suis une villain (written by Alessia)

two

I complete painting my new artwork and stare at it with amusement. It's an achievement. It's the painting of my "home". The home that is now in ashes.
I'm a full-time artist, that's my job. Painting is my passion and well... earning a few bucks out of selling these trashes aren't that bad of an idea. I live in a small apartment, one bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen. I'm not a famous painter. In fact, my paintings barely ever sell. I tried writing as well some time ago...but all I've done is waste paper. So, I gave up on that idea. I've been thinking about applying for a real job but...my social skills aren't very good. I mean at least I can afford a chicken leg and a few grains of rice a day so, that should be fine right?
...Who am I kidding..I probably won't even have the money to afford rice next month.

I set out with no destination in mind. I'm just walking to wherever my feet takes me in hope of finding a good job. After walking for some time and tiring myself, I find myself standing Infront of a cafe.
Hey...this is the cafe where I saw that blonde woman. For lord knows what reasons, I decide to enter the cafe. The first thing my eyes land upon after entering the cafe is a small board that says they're recruiting employees. I head to their counter.

"Hi, what can I get you?"

"Oh um... actually I saw the poster you put up and well I'm... interested to work here"

"Ohh! Sure. I'll inform the boss real quick, please take a seat in the meantime."

I thank the employee and take a seat in the table at the corner. I zone out while staring out through the cafe window. After some time, I'm called in. I'm sitting on a chair with an employee standing Infront of me... we're waiting for the manager. Well, he sure is taking his sweet old time.
After a while, the manager walks in looking grumpy for some reason. I greet him but he ignores it and gets right down to the business.

"Your name?" He says while giving me a weird look

"pioggia d'invidia" I reply while praying that he doesn't speak Italian.

"Weird name but alright, Invidia. Tell me about yourself"

I pause for a few seconds and answer his question after a short sigh, "I have studied upto the third year of university at Stony Brook University and then I had to drop out"

He arches a brow at my answer and almost scoffs then continues, "and WHY should we hire you?"

I give him a simple answer, "Well, I'm a fast worker and I can get any job done in a short amount of time"

He gives me a look that says he isn't buying my answer but then he continues,"what hours can you work?"

"From around four pm to seven or eight pm" i say

"Okay...and how do you handle criticism?"

I can't tell him that I have anger issues...so I lie and just give him a ideal employee answer, "I'll stay calm and collected and try to figure out what the problem might be"

He doubts my answer and says, "are you sure that you have what it takes? Some customers can be extremely rude"

I can bet a million dollars that no customer would be ruder than this bitch. I give him a straight answer anyway, " yes, I'm confident I can handle it"

This goddamn bitch doubts my answer again and says, "alright, let's test your skills then"

I try to calm myself and answer his stupid question with a polite fake-assed smile.

"Suppose a customer is being rude and talking crap about the food and service here, how would you handle that situation?"

"I will stay calm and composed and ask them what they're specifically stressed out about"

I'm already starting to get pissed off and if this goddamn bitch asks me more than two questions, I swear to god I will smash his head on the counter and leave.

"Alright, what are your weaknesses?" He asks

I reply by simply saying, "I don't think I'm required to answer personal questions for the job of a cafe employee".

With a bitchy tone he says, "Well well, it seems a third year university drop out knows more about hiring employees than me huh. Listen kid, I've been running this cafe long before you were even born and if I'm hiring someone, I need to know them properly "

Fucking bastard, I have the fucking urge to pull out and separate every single one of his body parts and feed them to a darned bitch. I try to keep  myself from murdering him because I fucking need this job and give him an answer.

"Gosh! Mr. Manager, I can see why your ancient brain is having troubles catching up with the standard questionings for an interview of the post for a cafe employee. All I'm required to do here is serve the customers that come and go. I don't see why my personal issue would be required for this".

That bitch storms inside the cafe's kitchen and I bet he's going to remember this humiliation his entire life. I put my feet up on the table as I wait for a rejection. At least I won that fucked up argument.
After some time, an employee comes out and says, "uh, congrats Invidia. You got the job".

I'm slightly confused but also fuck yeah, even the gods are on my side today. I go back home while smirking the entire time.