How to raise a Psychopath

CHP 2: Did he just call me 'Lord'?

After 20 minutes of bickering, the whole place was drenched in a thick, dark gloom nearly tangible to naked eyes. I looked around at the officials who looked absolutely dead inside.

Poor guys.

I sighed and turned to Eden, who was sitting in front of me with her jaw on the floor.

"So, that's how it is. I think you meant to take my neighbor instead." I said.

"Chris Enderson, right?" she asked.

"Yep. If you don't believe me, you can check the nameplates outside our doors."

Seriously, you must be really dumb to grab the wrong person when all you had to do was look at ours doors but hey, that's Eden for you-the 'Trouble Magnet' as everyone likes to call her.

Galadriel: This is awesome! Just great!

Eden: I- I'm sorry QAQ

Persia sighed, "So now what? We should send this mortal back and bring the correct one."

"Why send him back? Let's just throw him from the edge of the meeting hall, he'll land back on land, stupid mortal" Grulk said with an angry huff.

Leon: ...

ಠಗಠ

Hey you stupid, old, green, dimwit, unfashinable, ugly, cheap version of Shrek, do I look like I've got a spring on my ass?

Or maybe you have one? How about we throw you down and see whether you bounce off?

He's got a smaller brain than a head of lettuce. Well, I guess at least the lettuce is useful in a salad whereas his 'green lettuce' clearly is useless*shrugs*.

"HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Suddenly, someone started laughing aloud.

We all turned to see Eldric struggling to hold his laughter in.

What the hell? Why is he laughing? So weird.

Eldric: *laughing*

"Great Eldric, we're sorry but could you request Lady Vespera to send this mortal back and bring the actual person here?" Eden said with a bow.

Eldric: *still laughing*

"Wait- Where's Lady Vespera?" Thistle said.

"Oh, she said that it's time for her to get off work so she left," Vorthos said, shrugging.

"Wait, what?!" Thistle exclaimed, eyes wide, "How are we going to send back this mortal now??!!"

Persia groaned, rubbing her temples. "Great, just great. We're stuck with him."

Galadriel paced back and forth, her pointed ears twitching. "Does anyone know how to operate the portal? Anyone?"

Eden said helplessly, "Are you crazy?! No one but Lady Vespera knows how to open the Interdimensional portal!"

"Wonderful! We're a bunch of powerful beings and we can't even figure out how to send one guy back to Earth!" Thane sighed.

Grulp growled, "If someone doesn't figure this out soon, I'm throwing him off the edge myself."

Ceruleon hesitated before saying, "Thistle, didn't you say before that you were going to ask Lady Vespera to teach you Realmweaving spells?"

Thistle sighed, "That's the thing, she never taught me anything, she just said it's 'common sense'."

Everyone: ...

Eden muttered, "We're doomed."

After finally succeeding in holding back his laughter, Eldric said, "Who says we're sending him back?"