Whispers that Scream

Chapter Thirteen

Jane

Jane stood next to Adam as he gave the boat some gas, and they headed back out of the marsh. She stood quietly, trying to shake the last of the fog out of her mind. It was always jarring after one of her episodes. Almost like she had teleported between time and place. It took a while to get her bearings again, but she seemed to be doing better much more quickly than normal. Adam's presence grounded her here in the moment. 

She was embarrassed that he had witnessed her at her worst and most vulnerable. Still, she appreciated his attempts to help her when clearly, he was panicking himself, not knowing how to help. It amazed her, that only a few short moments after an episode that would normally ruin her mental state for at least the rest of the day, Adam was able to draw a laugh out of her. 

She was utterly exhausted, however. Nothing anyone would have done could have changed that. Her episodes put a strain on not just her mind but also her body. She was covered with sweat and just wanted to collapse on her couch.

Adam's cursing drew her thoughts back to the present. "Dammit."

She looked over at him and noticed him flushing slightly.

"What is it?" she asked apprehensively, not sure she could handle any other problems today.

"Well I... I," he trailed off, eyes darting back and forth to the gauges near the steering wheel.

Jane peered over to check the gauges and noticed the gas gauge was displaying empty. "Are we about to run out of gas?"

Adam flushed red, stammering out, "I'm sorry Jane, I checked everything this morning. I checked the life jackets, the poles, and the fire extinguisher. I even checked the oil. I clearly remember having 3/4ths of a tank the last time I took the boat out. Max must have used it without me. I'm sorry, I don't normally make mistakes like this. I know you are ready to just get back to your home, but we are going to have to stop for gas if we want to make it."

He was rambling Jane noticed. He was so panicked and bent of shape for such a small mistake. She lightly touched his arm and tried to convince him that this wasn't the life-or-death mistake he thought it was.

"Adam, it's okay. Let's go get gas. It's not a big deal."

He nodded stiffly, still flushed with embarrassment, and headed to the gas station. She had just had a monumental freak-out in front of him and yet, he didn't seem to be upset or aggravated for having to deal with it. He didn't seem to be judging her on it or showing any signs that he thought she was crazy. Yet, he was losing it over one simple mistake that he made.

Why did he keep himself to a different standard than everyone else? Why was he so much harder on himself than others? Jane wondered to herself as she inspected his face which was filled with so much shame.

Adam floored the motor and off they went, flying through the marsh. The wind from their speed caused their clothes to flatten against them, and their hair to be pushed back. Jane looked over at Adam and noticed that his usually baggy clothes were almost form-fitting against him now. She examined the muscles she could now see clearly defined. The muscles that she was pressed against when he steadied her earlier. He was in good shape, and she gazed a few seconds longer appreciating the view. She lightly bit her tongue to stop her mother's daydream from becoming her own. She...she had felt safe in a man's arms.

The gas station was really just a couple of pumps on a dock that boats were able to use from the water. A small store was located behind the pumps that gave boaters a chance to buy ice, bait, or any other necessities for a long day out on the water.