The Pasts

Chapter 12

Natasha's fingers gently trace the contours of your face as you lie on your sides, facing each other. The awe from your intimate dance still lingers, accompanied by the soft patter of morning rain against the window. In a hushed tone, she begins to speak, "I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for all the things I said, how I said it meant nothing...that you were a mistake."

"Stop," you whisper, closing your eyes.

Natasha's fingers never ceasing their gentle touch. She takes your words in, the weight of her previous actions lingering in the air. She keeps her eyes on you, letting the sound of your voice fill her ears. "No, let me finish." she speaks, her voice just as soft as yours.

She closes her eyes, gathering her thoughts. The rain continues its gentle rhythm outside, but inside the room, the atmosphere is filled with a mix of tension and fragility. She steels herself, knowing she has to make things right.

"I was wrong, I was so wrong. Everything I said the things I called you...they were a lie. You're not a mistake." Her voice is filled with a mixture of honesty and vulnerability.

You close your eyes again, the pain of her words still fresh, yet softened by the sincerity in her voice.

She reaches out, gently cupping your face in her hands, her touch gentle and tender. Her thumbs brush against your cheeks, wiping away the remnants of tears you didn't even realize were there

"Can you look at me, baby?" She asks softly, her voice filled with uncertainty

Slowly, you open your eyes and meet hers. The connection is immediate, a silent understanding passing between you. Natasha's eyes are filled with remorse and longing, a plea for forgiveness again that speaks louder than words. The rain outside continues its steady rhythm, a soothing backdrop to the raw emotion in the room.

"You crushed me, Natasha..." you say, your voice trembling with the weight of your hurt.

Natasha's heart sinks at the pain in your voice. She nods, her eyes never leaving yours as she absorbs your words. The rawness of your confession hits her hard, and she closes her eyes, the weight of her own words weighing on her once again. "I know... I know I did." She whispers. "And there's nothing I can say or do to take it back." She takes a shaky breath and reopens her emerald eyes, her gaze firm in its intensity.

"I was a coward," she whispers, her voice hoarse with emotion. "I thought it was the only way to protect you..." She swallows hard, her eyes glittering with unshed tears. "I was so scared of something happening to you because of me that I pushed you away, thinking it was for the best. But I see now how wrong I was."

There's a deep sadness in her eyes as she continues, her voice barely above a whisper. "I was such a fucking fool." She swallows hard, her eyes flickering over your face as she continues, "I thought pushing you away would protect you, but all I did was hurt you. Hurt both of us...." Natasha's voice breaks, cracking under the weight of her words.

"And I hate myself for that... for causing you so much pain."

You can see the anguish in her eyes, the regret etched into her features. The room is heavy with emotion, the sound of the rain outside a constant backdrop to the storm within. The room is silent for a few moments, the only sound the pitter patter of the rain against the window. The, now, late morning light casts a soft glow over you, highlighting the vulnerability in Natasha's face. She can't bear the sight of your pain, her heart breaking with each word. Her fingers trace the line of your jaw, her touch gently guiding your face to look at her. Her eyes search yours, her expression pleading for understanding.

You feel the warmth of her touch, the tenderness in her gesture contrasting sharply with the pain her words had once caused. Her plea hangs in the air, and you struggle with the swirl of emotions inside you. The hurt, the longing, the love that refuses to fade despite everything.