When I Remember You

First Days

CHAPTER TWO

First Days

ADAM HUXLEY
AUGUST 03RD, 1986
5:00AM

I sat up in bed glancing over at the clock. Five AM. Good. I had a certain time I needed to wake up today. Well-to be fair I had a certain time I needed to wake up every day, and no not in a "Oh well I have this going on so I have to wake up around this time," no it is not that at all. My mind demands precision. If I do not wake up at the exact time I need, I lose it. Luckily, my body has learned to wake up when needed automatically.

On the off occasion, my body does not wake up when needed I can usually reassure myself things will be fine. Today, however, if I had slept in even for a minute, I could not convince myself.

You see, in a couple of hours, I am going to a new school, with new teachers, new classes, and new people. I will be attending my first day of high school and because of this I absolutely needed to wake up at 5:00 AM. I needed time to mentally prepare and convince myself everything bad I fear will happen, will not happen.

My sister Judith along with everyone else in this town says I'm a control freak who overanalyzes everything-which is true... I can't deny that it's just... I believe there are plenty of things I need to worry about. I don't enjoy these behaviors but despite me trying not to worry, ultimately, I worry.

Sometimes I think that if I weren't... well a freak then I would be more likable-but then again probably not. Even so, my tendency to overanalyze and overreact is not the only reason people see me differently. I'm not sure when but at some point in my life rumors started circulating about me. Rumors I'd rather not mention at the moment but they made people see me as even more of a freak than I already am.

There's this guy, Troy. He's the one who started it all. I don't know what his deal is but he harasses me any chance he gets and has for years. I've thought about telling people about it but I'm afraid it would just cause more issues for me. Troy threatened to tell my parents his only son is... well... something they wouldn't be proud of. Something they would disown me for.

So, for me, it's either stay quiet and get harassed every day, or speak up and get kicked out. No matter what I do, it's a lose.

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5:05AM

I got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom so I could start getting ready. I was walking down the hall when I heard a voice from behind me. Judith's voice.

"Oh, you're finally up?" she remarked, dripping with sarcasm and the same snotty tone she always had.

"It's five in the morning..." I muttered to which she scoffed.

"And look who's still up before you," she said walking away.

Unlike me, people adored my sister. Her honey-blonde hair, sparkly green eyes, the way she presented herself in front of others, her smile, her laugh, her. We had similar features but on me, it was just... wrong.

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5:10AM

Entering the bathroom I slowly undressed and stepped into the shower, turning the handles causing the water to run. Standing, I felt the cold water cascade down my body. Exhaling, I ran my fingers through my now wet hair.

I always enjoyed taking showers. Everything is quiet except for the steady rush of water. Nobody is around to bother me. I can allow both my body and mind to feel clean and every thought I have is mine for no one else to hear or interrupt. I can imagine a world where everything is perfect and made just for me.