The Holly Man

The Gaslighter

Amy chewed her pen and jumped as Jon shouted her name. "Sorry Amy, didn't mean to make you jump. I was just asking if you had the latest version of master doc open?"

"Gosh, yes, sorry." she responded.

"You were in a world of your own there."

"Yes, sorry."

"It wasn't a criticism" Jon said in a quieter tone, "Something bothering you?"

"I was just thinking about last weekend," she sighed, "I saw my ex boyfriend and, well, I don't know, I think things may be back on, but then I haven't heard from him since."

"Ummm. Have you messaged him?"

"No," Amy shook her head, "I've almost done it, but," her face burned with the memory, "he said when we split up that whenever he was with me he wanted to be somewhere else, so you know..." Jon let his mouth drop open,

"Wow, that's harsh, but maybe it was just in the heat of the moment." he paused and added, "You won't know if you don't contact him."

"Yeah," Amy said inhaling and sitting up straighter, "Sorry Jon, I'll come out of the document now. I've finished those amends. Then I'll write up the notes from yesterday."

Later that morning when Jon left the client boardroom they were using as their base she took her phone out, and having typed and deleted several times sent a message.

Hi Mark, Do you want to talk about what happened at the weekend? We obviously still have feelings for one another. Amy x

Seeing the tick to indicate it had been delivered she exhaled with some relief that she'd actually done something about the swirling confusion she'd felt since Mark had kissed her. She considered how she always had a pulse of hurt when she saw couples walking through town, and when Richard made her laugh with stories of his chaotic child filled home. At the same time the ghost of the raw grief that had ripped through her when he'd appeared at her old office with no warning to tell her it was over, the cruelty of how he said he really felt about being with her, was just sitting just beneath the surface.

They were almost done for the day, giving their client Alex an informal progress update when Amy's phone buzzed. Looking at the name on the screen her smile dropped and she abruptly rose from the table looking at Jon.

"It's fine Amy," he nodded, "go take the call." When she'd gone he smiled at Alex, "Hope you don't mind? I think that might be the phone call she's been waiting all day for." he gave a one sided smile, "ex-boyfriend."

"Ahh." Alex said as Jon shook his head,

"She bumped into him a couple of weeks ago. I'm telling you he must be an idiot. Where are the girls like her when you're looking for a significant other?"

"I know what you mean," Alex laughed, "I got divorced a couple of years ago and its slim pickings out there!" He shook his head, "She's lovely. I can't believe she's single. I'm with you, whoever he is, he's an idiot."

Amy had walked just outside the front door as she clicked to accept the call. She shivered in the unseasonably cool, grey air, the odd rain spit stinging her face.

"Hi" she said

"Hi Ames," a voice once so familiar replied, "I just got your message and I think you've got your wires crossed." Amy didn't answer, any response strangled painfully in her throat, so he continued, "The other night, I don't know what you're talking about. Nothing happened between us."

"B-b-but," she stuttered her twisted throat releasing her voice, "you kissed me!" There was a pause,

"I was just saying goodnight." Amy wanted to double over in pain at all the things she thought that kiss meant ever since Saturday night.