Love that was never mine

Is she falling?

DIRA

I have been waiting on him for the past three hours. The moon is at its brightest, the stars are brilliant and sparkling, taunting me that I am waiting for a man. It is past two in the morning. A girl who never waited more than five minutes for someone has been waiting for a response for the last three hours. At eleven I'd texted him. My heart hurts with anxiety and anger, even though I know he might be busy and that's why he's late. What's causing his tardiness? Is he alright? Has he been harmed by anyone? Is he already losing interest?

I went back to the conversation that I had been checking often for the last three hours, hoping he would drop me a hint. Nothing existed. Just me texting him to get his attention. I am excited. I'm going to fall. Yes, but it can't be romantic. Perhaps it is love. Whatever it is, though, it's pure. His presence is all I want. There's serenity between us. I saw my text once more.

Me:- HI... Are you here? I said I would write for you, and I'm done. I'm holding out for you. Wanna know what it is?

Am I naive here? Am I disturbing him? Or is he conversing with someone else? Isn't this the moment for us? I'm sure he told me that he couldn't do it.

I was drowning in my overthinking, but I was able to surface somehow. I started packing my luggage, shuddered, and put my phone in my pocket. Tomorrow night, I have to head out for an outdoor photo session. I wrote my books and while working as an author I'm posing for my own poetry cover right now, i love to explore bew dimensions and push my limits.

It's enough waiting; I need to talk to him. Even if time is of the essence, I will be furious with him. Not like a typical teenage girl, I won't wait for him. I'm a working woman with little spare time.

Picking up my suitcase, I moved to face my closet. Although it's not large, I do have enough for this shoot. I took along some jewelery, knickers and clothing. Along with my clothes, I prepared a pack of skincare products and makeup. To save myself from worrying tomorrow, I stored all the essentials and gadgets. Now that I was genuinely upset with him, I sat back on my bed to go to sleep. I opened the chat one last time. There were 39 unread messages from different guys, but none from him. I was about to turn off my phone when his text popped up out of nowhere.

Abhyuday:- Hey, I'm sorry. I apologise profusely. I am running late. I apologise sincerely even though I know you may not be awake and waiting. I think I put in too much. Today's platter for me... Due to my cousins' refusal to let me leave when I dropped them off at the station, I was unable to complete my daily goal of solving 150 sums, which interfered with my entire timetable. I apologise profusely. I really am at fault.

I'm not sure what he does, what charms he possesses, or what spells he uses, but it always works on me. I was upset with him. I'm no longer upset with him after seeing the notification of his name as I was going to confront him. His text was the icing on the cake. Why am I no longer angry? What's causing my blushing? My heart beats so quickly-why is that? In spite of the cold, why do I feel warm? Why does everything have such beauty? Where is all of the anger I was just experiencing? Since he is a magician, he cannot be real. It happens because he cast a spell on me.

Me:- Ohki here; I'm awake. Even though I was packing my luggage, I wasn't waiting. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for being late. I just realised I have you when I unlocked my phone.

Whyyyyy did I lie? How come I can't just tell him I was angry?

"Because you are no longer insane. You lost all of that to him. He is your glad soul's completer".

Shut up! To my inner voice, I said... I didn't want him to feel bad for making me wait, so I lied. But why am I doing this if he should apologise? ... since we are friends, and friendships don't involve regrets? Perhaps.... I ignored my inner critic and read his most recent text.