City of Stars

Sexual assault trauma

October 3, 2501,
     "It's not your fault." That's what everyone tells you. But you still don't believe them. You scrub your body for hours, trying to get the feeling of dirtiness off. Even though the skin cells where they touched you are gone, you still feel like it's there. The flashbacks and nightmares take over your mind on some days. But the worst feeling is knowing you won't get justice for what happened. That anyone could do it again. You lie there at night wondering why they decided to do this to you.
      You know you'll never be the same. You know nothing will go back to the way it was. Never again. No more trust. You feel as if anyone you come across could do it again or are thinking of doing it. No justice.
    I remember when the self care teachers would talk of sexual harassment when we were just  little ones. I remember that day... I remember. I remember when the teachers would say, "Never let anyone touch you in such a way. If someone does tell an adult immediately." What a bunch of bull. Adults never cared. I'm getting away from the story. I'm Morgan and I'm here to tell you what happened to me that day of December 25. Christmas to some for others Founders day.
     I live in city Bonheur. I am here to explain what happened to me on that day. It all started when...

December 25,2499,
      I was trying to find my keys. I needed to get away from my family for a bit. "I'm going out for a bit!" I called my little sister, Lizzy. "Whatever," I heard her call from the living room. I found my keys in the drawer. I pulled out my phone and texted Alyssa.
'Can I come over?'
'You already know the answer'
I ran out the door and got into my car. I looked at the polaroid pictures of Me, Alyssa, and Eden on my birthday that I had taped onto the roof of the car. Eden lived in Vita, but his parents let him come visit me for my birthday. Eden and I had been dating for the past three months. We met on Mira, then when we took a school trip to Vita, we met up at a cafe for the first time. 
     Eden has seaside blue skin and dark blue hair. His eyes are green and he's turning 18 this summer. After I graduate, we're going to live in Bonheur together. I started the car and started the fifteen minute drive to Alyssa's house.
     When I got stopped at a red light I glanced down at my phone.
Three missed messages from Eden <3.
Uomo Blu is online...
Merry Christmas Mor!
Something's on the
way for you 
Love you,

     I smiled and closed my phone to continue driving. I shortly pulled into Alyssa's driveway. I walked up to the front step and was greeted by Alyssa's mom, Abby. "Lyss is up in her room," she smiled. I walked up the stairs and came to Lyss's room. I opened the door. "Hey beautiful," she was lying on her bed. I jumped onto her bed beside her. I re-opened the messages  from Eden.
Uomo Blue is online...
                     Sorry I was driving,
                       I sent you
                       Something too.
                                Love you too.
      "Oooo what's Eden up to?" Lyss looked over my shoulder. "He's probably sitting in his room waiting on his drone package from me," I locked my phone and stared at the lock screen picture of me and Eden at a skating rink. He was twirling me as we both skated along. I was wearing a black top and matching black jeans that stood out against my teal skin. He was dressed in a white t-shirt and blue jeans. I miss Eden. Maybe he can come visit after Christmas. "Morgan! There's a drone downstairs for you!" Abby called up the stairs. I almost ran down the steps. The drone was waiting for me in the living room. The drone dropped a package on the floor, then Abby opened the door for it, and it flew out. The package was white, and it was wrapped in a red ribbon. I opened it and saw a note laid on top.
                    Merry Christmas Morgan
                I love you more than all the stars in the sky mio tesoro
                 Ps. I got the pictures from Alyssa
      I removed the note and saw a golden heart locket in the box. I opened it. On the right side was the same picture of us that's on my lock screen, on the left side was a picture from when we went to a field together. We were both lying in the middle of it and laughing. I slipped the chain over my neck, wadded up the note, and stuffed it inside the locket.

     It was around 8:00 pm now. I texted my parents to let them know I was staying the night at Alyssa's. We were watching a movie and I was slowly drifting off. I eventually fell asleep about halfway through the movie.My dream consisted of the following:

     I was trapped, there was nothing restraining me, yet I couldn't move. They were there. They were coming towards me slowly. I couldn't do this again. I felt their hands on me again. At some point I started shaking. The dream kept going, every second getting more agonizing.

      Alyssa was shaking me. I was sweating and shaking. That was usual after I had PTSD nightmares. "I'm sweating, I need to go shower," I told Alyssa. She nodded and went to go get a towel.
        In the shower, I scrubbed my body until it was pink, but I could still feel their hands all over me. I always felt their hands all over me. I sighed and turned the water off.
     It was now around 9:00 and we decided to go to sleep.