Everybody before I start give me a a few snaps whenever you feel something or it hits you n we can talk about it later. Felt it been through it whatever
. The way the auro is Soo bright in here .what going on hell I need to be this happy . Constantly working on my mind my peace . Becoming this woman I strive to be, mother I always knew I would be. I think I use to doubt myself because it motivated me more. When I was 12 I cut my arms and thighs up. Why? I wasn't tryna kill myself but I wanted to feel pain it was the part where after so long keeping a secret to yourself it just sinks in. Not paying attention n now I started acting out , to the way he changed my mood as he entered the room but as a parent they never payed attention at all. If you didn't pay attention I'm not saying nothing anymore .
I'll forever watch my kids not noticing I distance myself when stood he would stand in the door way. I'll never trust a favorite uncle love my favorite uncle hurted me n way I didnt imagine . Nobody knew for for 2 whole years. Thinking she stop reading my journals I left a few on my bed why I did that idk. Cause you can't tell me how that made me feel deep on the inside. Did I really deserve it? What did I do wrong as a child you believe shit like that. Too much lead way allowed way to much trust not being strict enough always tryna be understanding is not it. People are disgusting and that why I'm the mom I am now . I'm out idgaf if I see a woman going through some that don't look right Imma help her . We gotta protect our selves now matter what. To friendly and shit . At some point you gotta stop a family rapist in more and I'm stopping it with mines . My son will never be able to come spend a night with my mama side of the family they cover shit up and be weird ASF. A family member knows a MF be fucked up and still allow they kids to be around it. It's cool then until yo child get touch now you care type shit. Mane I'm happy I went through the life lessons even tho it traumatized the fuck outta me I'm happy I made it out of all that cause I hated it.
