As the waves rose, and the wind tossed the boat back and forth haphazardly, I stopped to think about all that had happened. The sea roared as I became lost in thought.
Over the past few weeks, a tremendous amount has happened. My country had been flung into the midst of a horrific war. It didn't matter where you were. Death was lurking at every possible twist and turn. Bullets rained, and pained screams echoed through the night, setting anyone who heard them on high alert. Men, women, young and old - no one was safe from the terror that had blanketed the village where I had lived.
I had hoped that this nightmare would end and everyone could live in safety far from the disaster surrounding us. It was a naive hope, one that had killed my family, my friends leaving me all alone.
I loved my friends as if they were family, first losing my family and then those close enough to be family it felt like I was losing all my support, my reason, my dreams and it shattered me. Seeing them fall to the ground one by one like dominos seemed to sap away at my will to live, I just didn't know what I was fighting for. I wanted to end it there, lay down next to their bleeding bodies, drained of life and wither away, reduced to nothing but bones and ashes, hoping to meet again in our next lives, in a meadow of flowers somewhere far away.
I didn't though. My last memories of all who had loved me smacked me back into reality. They had wanted to live. They wanted ME to live. What type of unfilial child would I be to go against the dying wish of my parents. I had to live not for myself but for those who had died for me. I would run, my heart howling with pain to fulfil the last thing they said to me. Run and never look back. Don't let the shackles of the past weigh you down, be free, and soar through the sky like a phoenix. Be reborn from the agony and rise through the ashes to live a new life. So that's what I did. Ran and never looked back.
Explosions and traps smeared my path, but that had no right to stop me. Days on end, I ran until slowly the sounds of war, and the beating of my heart faded from my ears. Slowly, I continued to make my way east, towards the ocean. Gentle lapping waves luring me into the path of freedom. When I finally stopped, my feet were battered and bruised with the sea gently tickling my toes. I was covered from head to toe in blood, be it my own or from someone else. Mud smeared my hair, which was tangled with sticks. My dress that I had gotten as a present was torn to shreds. I looked to the left and was shocked to see people in worse or the same condition as me gathered around the dock.
One by one, boats began to float up to the dock like the rubber ducks we had in the bath back home. It is a cute but heartbreaking realisation. And just as slowly as the boats made their way to the dock, hope filled the emptiness dwelling in the crowds' eyes. Like moths drawn to a flame, people rushed out onto the dock scrambling and shoving in order to gain a spot to freedom. Scratching and clawing people made their way aboard the ships as I looked on with awe. It wasn't until the boats jammed with people like a can of sardines slowly lifted up the mooring lines and started to head back the way they came that I realised I had missed my chance to leave.
My hope gradually waned back to what it was not even ten minutes before. As I watched the boats sail away, I felt a little bit jealous. I wanted that to be me. Going to a place that was not touched by despair as my country was. I turned around to survey my surroundings when I heard an ear shattering boom. The war was catching up with me. It would be here soon enough. I steeled myself. The next wave of boats that came was going to be the one I left on. Everyone was in a panic as more sounds of death and destruction seeped into the ears of the people surrounding me. Taking advantage of this chaos was easy, I had done it many times before when my siblings would cause a commotion.
I crept onto the dock and became the first in line for the next batch of boats. The early bird got the worm. Days sped past, and not a single boat even grazed the horizon. Slowly but surely, the rekindle spark of hope began to diminish as I thought I would be stuck in this hell forever. However, contrary to my thoughts, reality was different. Steadily, a tiny row of dots in the distance grew bigger and bigger, changing their indescribable shape into one of a fleet of boats. As soon as one person spotted the change, a cry full of exacerbation and relief echoed out onto the waters.
Like a bat out of hell the people who had been waiting for this moment ran crying and screaming in relief, swarming around the dock like a pack of seagulls surrounding a family having a picnic by the waterside. My family had done that once. The littlest of my cousins just a mear four years older than me had helped me chase after them to get the scavenging birds away from our lunch.
As the boats cast out their mooring lines once more, I brought myself out of reminiscing the past and focusing on the present. Just before the boats had come safely to a stop, everyone began to push and shove in order to get to the ticket out of here. I made my way on board the boat hiding in a corner only a seven year old could fit into, faster than you could say a simple tongue twister the boat was packed, not even a centimetre was free of people and their things.
Nights turned into days, which steadily shifted into weeks and months. The time that it was taking to leave the only place I had ever called home gave me the time I needed to grieve the loss of my loved ones. The roaring of the waves stifled my cries of pure sorrow and pain, while the rocking of the boat carefully tried to comfort me into a deep sleep.
From my little nook, I gazed out at the stars, counting each one as the boat got closer to its destination. No one on the boat except for its crew knew where we were headed. All I knew was that this boat would take me far away from the cause of my heartbreak. The further away from that place, I was the happier I would be, and the more confident I felt to be able to start a new life. Wherever this boat would take me, I would go.
I had no expectations of where my new life would take me, but I was certain of one thing...
War was a horrible evil thing, one that took lives, land, and memories. My country was in a horrendous state because of this tragic entity. I was leaving all that behind, rising out of that despondency, misery, and sorrow to start anew. It's just like a phoenix rising up out of its ashes.
