Visions

Night One

I still remember the way his hand felt in mine. He had a strong grip, but knew how to be gentle with me. He made me feel safe.
I roll out from underneath the sheets. Sitting in the edge of the bed, I take a deep breathe. I can see the light of outside coming in my window. It is slightly obscured by the raindrops rolling down the glass. Another grey day because it always seems to be raining to fucking much. I tuck my long hair behind my ear feeling the earring he gave me on our one year anniversary.
By now I've learned to tuck alot of the emotions away. Some days are just harder than others. I still can't go into the garage even six months after it happening. Looking down at the packed boxes, I'm reminded why I need to leave this place. Today is the day I get away from this house and these memories.
I hear my phone vibrate. I pick it up to check the text. It reads;
"hope ur doing well hun. B by after work to help the rest of the way out"
From Ashley. We had been friends for quite some time. She was around when Zach died. She tried to explain to me that I wasn't too blame for what happened. Of coarse, I couldn't accept that as the truth. At least not yet. She is a good friend.
I glanced at the clock. 6:37 am. I had been awake for almost three hours. I cant remember the last time I slept well. I let out a sigh and fall back into my pillows...
Im out in a field and its flat. The land is d looking as though it has been scorched. The wind is blowing in storm clouds above and the temperature is falling. The mud is cold on my bare feet. I am frantically looking around and can feel my heart beating in my neck when I try to swallow. Then if in the distance I spit Zach with his back to me. I begin to run to him.
He seems to not get any closer. It is beginning to rain. The drops are cold on my skin. I can see my breath in the air as I pant. I have tunnel vision now. My legs ache in pain as I try harder and harder to reach him. Finally, I start to make way. I reach him and wrap my arms around him.
"I missed you so much..." I gasped.
"Hello beautiful." He responds as he turns to face me. The wind is blowing the rain sideways and pulls the dark clouds closer above. They start to rumble.
"It's getting cold, I'm still in my pajamas-" The last word I utter seems to hang in my mouth.
"Why do you do this to yourself, Val? You don't have to do this... You know this isn't real..." The words echo as the rain falls harder.
"I don't care if this isn't real. I miss you. I... I need you. I lo-" I grab his face as my eyes meet his brown ones. I kiss him. "I love you!" I am sitting in between tears.
The sky grows dark and his face turns into a scowl. "If you loved me then why did you let this happen!?" He begins to shout as he pulls back the cuffs on his leather jacket. His wrists have been cut and are bleeding.
"I didn't know! You didn't let me in..."
"We were suppose to be together forever! Why are you not with me now!?" He grabs my face. His belt is now around his neck. I close my eyes and try to shake my head free. There is a bright flash of light as the lightning strikes the behind us momentarily revealing a skull where his face should be. I scream. I wake up to the sound of thunder fading into pounding on the door.
I jump out of bed and run to the door. The pounding continues heavily. I take a deep breath trying to calm my mind. I open the door.
"Hey, Val! What's up? You didn't answer your... Uhm, why are you soaking at in your PJ's? Don't tell me you were outside in this mess?"
"Hey, uhm, no. I'm ok. I, uh, just accidentally spayed myself with the shower." I quipped back as the shock of being drenched soaked in.
"Are you sure you're ok? You look like you've seen a ghost."
"Yea, it's just the nightmares again."
"Zack?" She asked concerningly.
I nod solemnly.
"Oh, hunny, come here. Let's get changed and finish this move up. Are you going to let me in our stand there like the typical rude male?"
I chuckle, "Yea, sure, come in."
"You don't have to stay here tonight. You can come stay the night at my place instead of there all alone on the first night. It's up to you."