he's just a boy

chap 1

I wish I was different, i had black headphones and full black outfit (hoodie with no strings and black jeans), I wasn't eating and I had cuts on my wrists, it was my last day in my town before I get sent to a mental hospital, I hated seeing people in love because I'll never be able to feel like that, I never have.

I don't like School and I'm also bad at most things, including talking to people
I wish I wasn't like this but I was, and I hated it, all I did was sit around and scroll on Instagram, looking at pierce the vails posts, or I was on Tumblr, I literally live on Tumblr because everyone is fucking depressed, like me, my therapist literally took away the strings of my hoodie, like wtf.

I sit in the cafe looking out the window, it was raining so it was nice, no one was really here so that helped, I had a muffin but I didn't eat it, but I basically downed my coffee, I love coffee, who doesn't its literally coffee, i hate tea though, its just like drinking water herbs I don't understand it.

I had a few friends but we were always so distant, I also love turtles and tortoises, I always cary around this baby and mother toy, well stuffed toy, I got given another coffee but the staff here, I was a normal so everyone really knew that I had an eating disorder but I was still really quiet about it, I mean who isn't its not something to be proud of it's literally trying to make yourself starve.

If you can't tell I struggle alot with my eating disorder but I promise I'm trying, I drink the second coffee at a normal speed this time because well I'm not a lunatic who can deal with hot drinks fast and I don't like people who are, they annoy me because they are always talking about it.

I'm almost petrified about getting into a mental hospital because what if everyone was not as weird in my like, corridor, honestly I don't know what it's like to be there since my family is "normal", except for the fact that my mum's dead and my dad's abusive, I'll talk about that later, alot of people think I'll get better there so I'm hoping that there telling the truth.

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I pack up my phone and book and head for home, or as I call it, hell with a bed, at least I had my turtle, I'm glad my turtle is happy, it makes me happy, as I walk I get alot of funny looks considering the fact I was wearing full black and my bad was black too, I wish I could wear what I wanted and not get bullied, society is fucked up in my opinion.

I trip over my feet and land straight on my face, I felt like breaking down into tears but I know it would make people look at me and call me names, someone from the cafe helped me up and I carried on walking with a wave, even if I tried to talk i would end up in tears. I wish my dad cared a bit about me and my sister but I guess he doesn't and I'm alright with that, I'm gonna go away to a mental hospital for god knows how long anyway.
I was already packed for going, I literally have the stuffed toy and a weeks amount of clothes, I don't need alot to live to be honest, and im aloud to take my tortoise, that made me happy, they have a cage thingy in the sensory room and I'm aloud to go at any time of the day or night, but it's lights out at 10pm and get up at 7-9am.

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As I open the door to hell with a bed I immediately run up to my room, I knew I was late home but I didn't know were my dad was so he may of known, I didn't hear my name so I was fine, for now...

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I got more words then I normally do so yk that works I guess, also this isn't edited so
715 words