you lost me

chapter one

Present time:
Lola's pov:

"You fucking liar, you fucking- God this is what i deserve? For you to lie to me like nothing? Tell me what I fucking did to deserve this".

He looked so guilty, like as if he just admitted to murdering someone and didn't have a care in the world. Because that's what this was, he didn't have a care in the world. I'm so stupid for believing him.

"We'll talk tomorrow Lola, right now i need time from people, from life, from-" I stop him before he continues talking.

Now i know what this is. Of course how didn't i act on this shit sooner".

"It's me isn't? After seven years you give up on me? On us. Is that why you did that, you said those hurtful things because you're leaving me. How could i be so dumb, tan estupida?

"No love no, this isn't about you, i could never leave you. Please just give me time. I promise I won't ever leave you again."

He walked over and held me as i cried to him. I really love him, but what if he leaves me.

"You promised me you piece of shit."

I get this shit? This no life unexplainable shit apology?

"I have tried to find a reason to not hate you, to understand why you left me. Why you said those things, like if i didn't matter.
Like all those seven years didn't mean shit to you."

"Maybe i was right, the truth always comes out in the end lucas. I was just too stupid to see right through you and your lies."

I back away from him, angry I'll do something I'll regret later. I should ignore this situation, ignore him.

"Lola please-"

Please? Is that all he says after two years.
This is all just lies to get me back.

I won't fall for any of them, not again.

"Goodbye lucas harvess."

I leave his presence before almost leaving room, lucas grabs my arm and pulls me.

I feel tension between us, tension i haven't felt in those two years.
It felt like butterflies were cuddling my stomach. I felt like vomiting from this feeling.

So much that has happened in just a matter of one day. I don't understand why, after 2 years, he thought forgiveness would come so easily.
Oh, lucas, you thought wrong. I hate that i have to see his face in school, let alone he's my neighbor now.

I hate having to witness his dark brown wavy hair and dark brown eyes. Even though i hate him, he's never failed to be so goddamn handsome.

"God, he just had to pop up to ruin my life all over again!" I yell, throwing my pillow across the room.

"What's going on here lola, whys your room messy? What's wrong did something happen?" My mom asking me, as my rooms clearly a mess.

How do i tell her lucas is back? If she found out, she would force me to forgive him. I can't do that, i promised myself i wouldn't forgive him for what he did to me.

"Lucas is back in town, did you here mother? HE'S BACK! I bet you're excited to see lucas huh? The boy who left your daughter depressed and heartbroken for two years!" I yell at my mom in rage

Her face shows me that she already knew. Like if she already knew he was here.

"I know sweetheart, his mother called me and told me he would be coming back. I wanted to tell you, i swear-"

I cut her off, knowing my mom she wasn't going to tell me.

"THAT'S BULLSHIT! you know damn well you weren't going to tell me lucas was back home. Do you how hurt I've been since dad died. Lucas was all i had, and then he left. No call, no text, no emails. He left mom, im never going to forgive him.