Life Love Self

3

Sun rays reaching my eyes woke me up and I cursed softly at my roommate that had not drawn the curtains the night before. I stirred in bed trying to get awake before I even peeled my eyes open, it was quiet so I assumed Anna had moved out already. I had wanted to sleep more but unfortunately I was never the type to sleep in so I sat up opening my eyes to get the day started already.

Our dorm room was nothing special, small in which two twin beds were squeezed separated by a window with a light blue fluffy rug between them, a huge shared wardrobe to the right, a dressing table opposite the beds close to the door next to which was a study table that mainly belonged to me filled with books and above it was a book shelf filled with my novels. The room was neat, both beds laid in white with blue duvets as Anna had insisted we keep matching and I was just grateful for a clean roommate so whatever floated her boat.

Climbing down from bed I held my brown braids in a bun, how I had forgotten a hair net the day before was beyond me. We had returned from lunch and camped in my room talking and playing board games until Cissy had to go get ready for a date with her new catch. Which had left me to myself and I had watched series on my laptop until I had dozed off, probably why I had no hairnet on. It was no longer beyond me after all.

I scrolled through my phone standing by my bed which I was intending to make and I decided to check my emails because, why would Samuel respond to just Cissy not the two of us.
And my heart skipped a bit on seeing that indeed he had sent an email.

I was never one to shy around from opening things just cause I was afraid to, or was scared to see what was inside. It was more like open it and get it over with already and that was exactly what I did and my heart sunk.

***
Getting ready for class took me the longest time due to my sullen mood and I almost skipped classes altogether but if I had remained in my room I would cry and that was the last thing I wanted. So with the huge lump in my throat I had pulled on jeans and a white sweater shirt with white all stars and grabbed a note book and crossed campus to get to class.

I am sorry to inform you that you're story didn't reach the standards I had hoped, I decline the offer to be your agent. Good luck with your next steps.

The brief message ran through my mind despite the lecturer going on and on about whatever, I wasn't even in the mood to know. How dare he say I didn't reach his standards, was I a terrible writer? was I lacking originality?
Was my writing that bad?

I felt my heart squeezing in and my breath hitching, tears burning my eyes but I couldn't let them fall, what did he mean good luck with your next steps, I didn't even know what my next step was, I had counted on starting to publish novels immediately after campus.

And when Cissy had told me to submit my manuscript with her due to her professor mother calling in for a favor I had been thrilled and had submitted the best story I had thought I had ever written, and now my heart was in pieces.
I didn't know whether to call Samuel for more details of the story or just let it be.

Hard as I had not to let this connect to my father's words and our argument, it did, flash backs hitting me like a slap.

*
"You have to do law because it is a straight path for you, go to school, graduate and come back to the firm and start working" my father boomed in the living room.

Me sitted quietly on the sofa staring ahead knowing I wasn't going to law school, not in this life time and certainly not in the next.
*

Lance had said the same thing too. If I failed to attain something to do with myself after school and had to go home to depend on him, I would never hear the end of it, the entire family would be told of how a failure I was and ..

"Rosette, tell us what you think?" my name being called pulled me from my head to the lecturer at the front, a chubby middle aged lady that lectured character development. I hadn't even known she knew my name as even though we were several weeks into the semester, she had never pointed me out.

" I am sorry I wasn't paying attention." I said trying my hardest not to let the tears fall.
That would be so embarrassing, I would sleep and never wake up.

" Maybe your head should be here and not wherever it was, okay?" She questioned and I nodded.
At which she asked Samson, who was next to me.

"Establishing a character's goal is one of the most defining things about a book."he said smoothly to which she approved with a nod and went on to add that it would be our assignment, to develop characters preferably both protagonists and villains and we would hand in the following lecture. Great! Just the day to receive a coursework.

My phone buzzed in my bag so I pulled it out and checked the caller id, Seth. A small smile settled on my lips as I picked up. The lecture had ended a while back but I had stayed back in class not in the mood of interacting with anyone or anything and given that Cissy had missed this class, my mood had been double bitter.

"Hey." I called into the phone
"Hi, sugar." he responded and I laughed a little.
"Where did you and lance run off the other day?"

" He was showing me some cufflinks he had bought for me, something about teaching me to dress formally." he explained
"I didn't see you again." I whined
"Phones kind of exist, Rosie."he said quietly and I sighed.

I never called and he always pointed it out but had taken some time without saying it. I sniffed.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, filled with concern. "I'm sorry about the not calling thing." he said

"It's not that." My voice shook, I took a minute to collect myself then added, "remember the manuscript I submitted to an agent?" I asked
"Yeah, why?"

"A response came back, it's been rejected." I burst into tears.
"Hey, shh.. shh " he said and I sucked in a breath, no crying, remember?

" Is Cissy with you?" he asked
"No, why?"
" I don't want you alone while you're sad, I am coming over, I need her to stay with you until I arrive.."

"You don't need to, I will be fine." I said
"I know you will, because I will ensure it." he insisted and I rolled my eyes. "I was supposed to come tomorrow anyway, so coming a day earlier changes nothing."

But you didn't have to drop your own plans for me.
"Okay, I will be in my dorm, get me some cornflakes." I said instead.
"You got it, sugar."

***
Has anyone ever worked so hard on something only for it to be tossed aside in a minute?
Tell me what it was, if you please.😔

For Rosie it's a book that she put so much passion into and now it is rejected.