Weirdly Yours

Part 7 (Idaya)

I wake up sweating and trying to catch my breath as nandini is caressing my back

I hated nightmares they made me felt weak but I couldn't stop them , I didn't had nightmares very often but when they did I couldn't recover for days replaying the same scene again and again in my mind

"Are we here for a picnic dad ?" I asked my dad I was still 6 and excited
I held my father's hand as he took me inside the forest

I thought we would enjoy have sandwiches and that he finally started loving me over my older brother

It was getting dark so I asked my dad "dad is mommy gonna come too?" Mom went for a buisness meeting to London and my brother was with his friends
At home dad cooked me pasta I loved pasta when I was a kid

Dad just said "no she's busy" while rolling his eyes I thought he was tired .. I went to grab my water bottle inside the tent and when I came back dad was gone ...
I shouted "dad... Dad" I was so scared I hated darkness I went inside the tent and just sat there inside in a corner
That was day when I realised "my father is never gonna love me"

The memories come flushing back in my mind and I hug nandini tight still sobbing "why didn't he love me Nani?" I asked her , I just wish he could explain me someday why didn't he love me I always loved him

I was a sobbing mess and nandini just repeating the same words again and again "it's fine it's alright I love you and there are so many other people who love you" I doubted that

that day I was saved by nandini's parents and not mine , since then I always considered her parents as mine

And my parents as my enemies
The only person I liked in the family was my older brother , but then my parents manipulated him into thinking that I would destroy his and their life cause I was a bad luck

I came back to my senses hearing nandini's voice as she said "I'll cook you something wait" I didn't want to be left alone so I tagged her along

I took a cold shower but it didn't help much it was 2 am in the morning, I felt bad for nandini she had her shoot tomorrow

"I'll wash the dishes you should go sleep" I said

"But-" before she could finish "no buts just go sleep" I replied

Nandini just nodded and went to sleep cause she knew me too well , she knew I needed some time alone

The nightmares started when was 12 so since when I always chose driving late at night to wander my mind off things

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I took my keys grabbed on a jacket and went to the parking

I started the engine and started driving

Songs and driving were the only things that could calm me down right now

I sped up playing



After a while of listening to all dope songs in my playlist I stopped the car and went to the quiet area beside the Brooklyn brige which was empty enough , it was facing the river and the city shined bright as I stared at the tall buildings, it was now my favourite place in newyork, The city shining my glimmering through my eyes.