A Fish Longing for the Old Pond

Part 4

9

I spent the entire afternoon playing with the two kids, making up for lost time.

Perhaps it was the day's exhaustion, but after Pu Tao lit some incense, I soon fell asleep.

I didn't know if it was an illusion, but in my half-dream, half-awake state, I felt that someone was watching me.

With Chi Yan Chi's restrictions lifted, the two children came to play with me every day.

I subtly expressed my longing for their father, hoping they would help bridge the gap.

Unexpectedly, Little Chun Yi looked at me in surprise.

"Father hasn't been sleeping in his own room these past few days. Wasn't he coming to see you?"

I was startled. What did this mean?

Had the man I had longed for since childhood found another woman?

Pu Tao had reassured me multiple times that the Marquis had kept himself pure for the past ten years.

First, he did not take concubines; second, he did not flirt with women; third, he did not spend nights in red-light districts.

Seeing my distressed expression, Little Chun Yi seemed frightened but continued, "Father used to tell us bedtime stories every night. Recently, the stories have gotten much shorter. I secretly observed for a few days and noticed that after finishing the stories, Father didn't return to his own courtyard. I thought he was coming to see you."

In a flash, I connected this with the odd feelings I had been having at night.

I then carefully cross-checked the timings with Little Chun Yi.

A suspicion began to form clearly in my mind.

10

At night, after Pu Tao left the room, I got up and extinguished the incense, then lay down and pretended to sleep.

Usually, I would fall asleep as soon as I lay down and tried not to let my mind wander during the day.

But at this moment, in the silent night, I suddenly felt an unprecedented loneliness.

In ten years, I had no idea what the outside world had become.

I didn't know if my parents and relatives were still alive.

Even my once familiar childhood friend had become a stranger.

I was on the verge of tears from sadness.

The creaking of the door opening made me hold back my tears instantly.

When I used to study, I always thought I wasn't as smart as Chi Yan Chi.

But he probably never expected to be outsmarted by me one day.

Footsteps approached the bedside.

I could clearly feel his gaze on my face, focused and burning.

After a while, Chi Yan Chi's hand fell on my cheek, caressing it with affection.

Then...

Nothing else happened.

I had just remembered the story I wrote and felt a small surge of anticipation.

But, that was it?

I couldn't help but catch my breath.

Chi Yan Chi immediately realized I was pretending to sleep and turned to leave.

With a swift motion, I leaped up and hugged his waist from behind.

"Touching me and then trying to leave?"

Chi Yan Chi trembled but didn't turn around.

Neither of us spoke, until my hands started to wander.

"Chen Yu!" His voice was low and hoarse.

"Yes!"

I instinctively pulled my hand back, then felt a bit aggrieved:

"You've been ignoring me all this time."

Chi Yan Chi turned and held me tightly in his arms.

"I wasn't ignoring you, I was just... I was just too scared..."

Later, I learned that Chi Yan Chi had lost me twice when I was most within his reach.

11

Chi Yan Chi described the past ten years in a nonchalant manner.

He mentioned only that the ghost who occupied my body was infatuated with the Fourth Prince and wanted to break off the engagement to become empress.

But he didn't mention how the ghost tried to become the top courtesan in a brothel.

Nor did he talk about how she humiliated him in countless ways, trying to force him to break off the engagement.

While he was caught in the power struggle, he also did everything he could to protect my body and my family.

Those ten years were just a night for me.

But for him, they were truly years of hardship and suffering.

I lay in his arms, crying uncontrollably.

After a while, I sullenly asked him how he recognized me.

He comfortingly stroked my head.

"Only Little Yu would look at me with such a deep, affectionate gaze."

My sadness abruptly halted.

Li Zhi once said that the way I looked at Chi Yan Chi was like a starving ghost eyeing a roast lamb.

It was a look of pure longing, inside and out.

Only Chi Yan Chi would interpret that gaze as affection.

I asked where Li Zhi was, and Chi Yan Chi said that Li Zhi was the first to notice something was wrong with me. The ghost falsely accused her of stealing and tried to have her killed.

Fortunately, my parents were not foolish and sent Li Zhi away overnight.

Now, they were spending their later years in a manor.

However, their daughter had never visited them.