Zayn awoke abruptly on his 22nd birthday with a strong aspiration.
No longer would he follow every one else’s orders and rules. Zain Javaad Malik was going to be the person he wanted to be, without any regard to the opinions of those surrounding him. Too long had he taken orders, too many times had he been told no, you can’t do that, it’s not good for your image.
22 fucking years.
264 months.
1,232 weeks.
8,030 days or 192,720 hours.
How many minutes, seconds had he spent being someone he wasn’t?
Well, 11,563,200 minutes. Or, to be technical, 693,792,000 seconds in total.
And that was long enough to lose who he really was. Zayn desperately wanted to break free from his captivity—but where was he to flee to if not to himself? After all, how could you go somewhere you had never been without directions?
First and foremost, he would have to stand up to his management. And at the risk of losing his job, it wouldn’t be without high stakes. It wasn’t like he was afraid to do it. Okay… maybe he was a little scared. Maybe… maybe a lot scared. But what else could he do? Continue to be a show puppet until he aged out of the limelight?
Too many questions—far too many. A break.
He would take a break to figure it all out.
Most importantly, Zayn had to figure out how to confess his love. A letter, that would be nice. Cheesy, but nice. A text message, well, that would be impersonal. In person? Could he do it in person?
No. Zayn was the least confrontational person on the Earth, or if not, close to it.
Besides, what if it was unrequited?
Then all of his efforts was turn to dust. A then? What, go back to manufactured, coached and primed Modest!Zayn? He couldn’t be who they wanted him to be anymore. It felt dishonest.
The fans, they would be disappointed. They’ll get over it though. Zayn had serious doubts that he wouldn’t hurt them. But… they would move on. Boy bands couldn’t have that big of an impact on a single person’s life. Of course not.
As the thought crossed his mind, Zayn scolded himself.
That was selfish. These were the ones who had given him his wildest dreams, his livelihood, even his family’s. The thought of putting them second to himself was callous, he reminded himself, gazing nervously out the window.
But he could do this. It would have to be done carefully, slowly. He had to be cautious and spare as many feelings as he possibly could.
So, Zayn was faced with a choice;
would he be who they wanted him to be, and let himself down, or would he be who he wanted to be and let the entire world down?
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𝑍𝐼𝐴𝑀 𝑂𝑁𝐸 𝑆𝐻𝑂𝑇𝑆☁︎
FanfictionI have been thinking about this for quite a long time now and yesterday I was like "I think I should go for it" Some are mine some are from the internet.
