A city stands unchanging

It smells of mold

Julia and I have been to dozens of ruins in the last few years. We have an established routine at this point, unspoken rules that let us work together despite our differences. It started by complete accident when we bumped into each other during one of my explorations. Julia helped bandage my sprained ankle and walked me to the hotel room that night. A remarkably embarrassing experience, but it worked out as we woke up together next morning. I don't remember how exactly it started but since then we've worked as a team, meeting exactly once a month.

Today we got a bit carried away in the hotel and almost missed the sunset. I wouldn't really care, but Julia threw me off of her and ran straight to the bathroom the moment she noticed what time it was. The sights were her favorite part, after all. She loved to stand, unmoving, looking at the flowers or the clouds. I never fully understood her obsession, to be honest.

When we arrive, the sky is blood red. It is beautiful, I admit. Sometimes even I get hypnotized watching the darkness slowly descend onto the world, gently coating the old building and the remains of what was once a lavish garden. We stand there, not saying a word, for a long time. The night air is fresh and chilly, it is about to rain. I feel relieved. A night is not the end for me, it is the beginning of my weekend, and I can finally drive to the end of the world, turn off my phone and disappear from the radars. I can passively float through time and space, not wanted or needed anywhere at all. Isn't that what freedom is?

We don't really spend much time above ground after dark. There is nothing to see, only parts of old walls remaining, trashed and covered in graffiti. I politely wait for Julia to take her pictures before we both move on. The basement looks promising. As we get closer, I feel a surge of anticipation building up deep in my stomach. Something tells me this time is not like the others, this time I will discover something truly breathtaking. Julia doesn't seem as excited but it's to be expected, she never understood my love for underground.

It's a small room, covered in moss, trash and dirt. It smells of mold and other unpleasant things so Julia covers her mouth with a respiratory mask. She's always been more of a lady than me.

One wall calls out to me. It's not special in any way, at least not outwardly, but I feel a gentle pull towards it deep in my soul. As I come closer, I realize it's not concrete, but a thin material. It's fragile, and somehow I am the first one to discover that. There shouldn't be anything behind that wall, but my gut is telling me to break it. Julia is laughing at me when I take out a hammer.

"You'll just «discover» some pipes. Or questionable design choices."

But I have to see for myself. So I hit twice, then three times. And finally, the hole is big enough to illuminate what lies behind the wall - it is absolutely nothing. I don't mean that there is a wall, I mean that there isn't. The light drowns in the darkness before it can meet anything solid.

Now Julia is invested, too. Still holding the torch for us both, she kicks the cracks in the wall, revealing more and more of what's behind it. We step inside, on an old-fashioned marble staircase.

"You told me you've researched this place," I say.

"I did," Julia huffs. "This place was built on a random plot of land and got bombed into the state it is today, I don't know what to tell you. No matter where I looked, no mention of previous structures. I have no idea how it's even possible."

"Maybe it's a secret bunker."

"Doubt it."

We descend the stairs slowly. My heart is pounding in excitement I have never felt before, an euphoric sense of belonging. It's not long until the stairs end to reveal a long corridor. I feel weightless as I slowly go ahead, sliding my hand against a wall. It's bare, untouched. The air here is clean, dry and warm, like in my childhood bedroom. There's still a residue smell of earth, calming and reassuring. I don't need Julia's torch to see anymore. My eyes slowly adjust to the darkness.

"What if it collapses? We should leave," Julia says.

"Leave?! Do you understand what we just found?"

"Yes, and we could come back more prepared."

I shake my head but Julia can't see it anyway.

"We must see how far it goes, at least."

"Okay."

We leave our bags on the ground. Julia only takes a few items with her in a small backpack, but I don't even feel the need to.

The tunnels change with every passing hour. Some sections look ancient, built out of uneven stone, some are concrete structures, some - raw dirt and rocks. The change is smooth and pleasant, relaxing like no walk in a park could ever be. Julia can't stop whining and calling out to me. I tell her to leave but she doesn't.

We reach an opening. Brick walls disappear, and in front of us is a space so grand I can't help but run through it. Julia's worried voice quickly fades into the background. With every passing minute my eyes become better and better at differentiating the beautiful floral patterns painted on the floor. This place is stunning, it's enormous, and it could all belong to me.

"Lily," Julia begs, "we must go back. This isn't right, this place is completely wrong in so many ways. If we get lost here, we won't be able to go back."

"Do you still want to go back?" I ask, letting anger seep into my voice.

Her presence has been making me uncomfortable for a while now, ruining my solace, preventing me from being truly, completely alone. She has been blessed with a sight no one has ever seen; with the privilege to walk across those grand hallways; a chance to hide from the world in a comforting darkness. She doesn't cherish it.

"I don't like this place," Julia admits, her voice shaking. "We haven't been eating, drinking or resting for hours, and we are completely fine."

"Then leave."

Julia looks at me like I'm already dead, and I'm content with it. She is as tired of me as I am of her, disappointed and mad. We weren't even close enough to stick together for that long, anyway.

"I'm sorry," she says and tosses me a spare torch. I catch it so it won't shutter on the beautiful floor, but immediately put it away. Light hurts my eyes as I look at Julia, but not for long. Her steps echo in the hallways. Soon, it's dark and quiet.

The hall is round. There are tunnels leading in every direction, all different in shapes and sizes. I sit in the middle for a while, breathing in the warmth.

Then I go deeper, lower.