A Night's End

Something Wrong

[i]"Is your tail itching?" Coldwater asked without looking over her shoulder.

[i]At the entrance, Nightpaw shuffled her paws before moving further into the den. "Er, no," she answered with a quick glance at the circular scar wrapped around her tail.

[i]She hadn't been in the medicine den for as long as her family had feared. The wound had been deep, but thankfully not deep enough to warrant amputation. It had a flare up of infection before it had fully scabbed, but that had been minor enough to dissipate before three sunrises and Nightpaw had only gotten a cough and a runny nose because of it.

[i]It had healed enough for her to become an apprentice on time–thank StarClan! Hawksplash had commented that their ancestors must be looking down on her. Sheeppaw had been relieved that he didn't have to delay his own apprenticeship–something he had promised to do if he needed to.

[i]Though Nightpaw's tail had healed, she still had to go easy for her first moon of training, something she wasn't entirely upset about, even if Honeyplum was eager to show her first apprentice everything she knew.

[i]The only issue the mark caused for Nightpaw now was the occasional itch, which Coldwater would give her ointment for.

[i]But the tail was fine.

[i]But she....

[i]What should she...

[i]How to explain it....

[i]She had gone over different words in her mind over and over again, but how could she say it in a way that makes sense to someone else when it couldn't even make sense to her?

[i]Coldwater turned and raised a brow. "Well?"

[i]"Uh," Nightpaw thought. She took a deep, shaky breath, and didn't look Coldwater in the eye as she mumbled, "I think something is wrong with me."

[i]"Come again?"

[i]"I think something might be wrong with me," Nightpaw said louder, now paying full attention to her paws.

[i]"Is it your stomach?"

[i]"No."

[i]"Chest?"

[i]"No."

[i]"Are your legs sore?"

[i]"No."

[i]Coldwater huffed. "You're going to have to help me out here, Nightpaw! I can't read minds."

[i]"I..." Nightpaw struggled. "I don't know. I just know that something isn't right with me. I can feel it all the way down to the bones. I can feel it everytime I think or eat or breathe, it–it claws at me."

[i]Coldwater sat down, indicating with a nod that she wanted the apprentice to do the same. Nightpaw did so, feeling very foolish. Surely she was worrying about nothing.

[i]"When do you feel it?" Coldwater asked. Her voice was gentler now.

[i]Nightpaw frowned, thinking hard. "It used to be when cats would talk with me or about me. I don't know why, it's just...I thought it was my anxiety I guess, or something like that. But it just built and built and some nights I want to leave this..."

[i]"Leave the Clan?" Coldwater pricked her ears.

[i]Nightpaw looked just as surprised. "No, no!" She cleared up. "Not the Clan. I could never leave the Clan, and definitely not my family. I don't....I don't want to be like this." She gave Coldwater a weak smile, almost laughing at how stupid she sounded. "I don't even know what that means."

[i]Coldwater was silent for several painfully long heartbeats while her eyes searched Nightpaw's own, darting to and fro as if she was actively reading Nightpaw's every thought. Then she stood up and moved to her herb store.

[i]Was there actually something that could help?

[i]Nightpaw held her breath.

[i]But when Coldwater returned, it wasn't with a leaf or flower. Instead, she kicked a rock toward the apprentice.

[i]"I don't understand?"

[i]"It's for you to talk to," Coldwater explained. "Whenever you want, wherever you want." When Nightpaw's brows remained furrowed in confusion, the older cat went on. "Sometimes it helps to hear our own thoughts out loud without worrying what another cat might think. Keep it with you. Talk to it about how you're feeling, your thoughts, whatever it is you need to get out. And listen to what you say. You might end up hearing something that surprises you."

[i]Nightpaw dipped her head, lips quivering a tad at the gesture. She hadn't expected Coldwater would actually be able to help her. She bent down and scooped the rock in her jaws. "An'k oo!" She thanked the healer before leaving the den with her new...uh....friend?