damsel in distress

Chapter 16

Stein is dead. My Stein is dead. Daphne Jounsbury is exiled for treason, all because she was a hurdle in my brother’s love for Isabella? What was the entire point of her character? Shall I ever see her again? Shall I see Stein again?

I am alive and my brother walks ahead of me, dressed in our regal colours of our maroon and gold. Upon his chest lie the sovereign stars and royal sash, and upon his face lies the dismal gloom of being the king.

The doors to the throne room are thrown open upon our arrival and orange sunlight floods the room, as my depressed brother walks to the throne with a spectre in his hands. The councilmen all go and stand by their seats, while Baroness Viola guides my hand to stand two steps behind my brother. Facing the councilmen.

“In the name of the Five…”

Baron Gabriel acts as the Minister ordained by the Cathedral, and I wonder if Stein was supposed to be the one chanting the scriptures and transferring the authority of the crown. No. Stein was never there in that scene. It opened with Adam holding my carcass… and I am alive.

“We aver before you all today that we are not and were never offended at any point in time during the process that culminated in this day that has seen Tayash Somerhaden ascend the throne of his fathers. This is, in every ramification, a very special day; one that has been predestined and divinely ordained by the Most High Gods.”

I’m alive. Stein said deaths were absolute. He died in my stead, and the spaces never reset. All my life, I haven't felt this insurmountable sadness. My jaw trembles, ears thrum with red, hot singing of confusion and terror. I do not know how I am standing. Deaths are absolute. I wish to cry. Someone's dead body must decorate the feet of the throne. Stein can't come back to me anymore.

An arrow flies through the air right in front of me and I am unfazed, taking the chaos of the councilmen in silent turmoil. It hits Baron Gabriel, and Adam… Sorin is marching in the room with the throes of his men. He says his dialogues, and my brother says his.

All of it, artfully replaced. What changed everything?

I close my eyes and fall to the floor with Viola, who mourns for her dead husband. I killed the Baron. Ah, who am I to cry? I had wanted this. I had wanted to live. Everything fades to a hazy blur, colours and sounds mix in random arrangements, and my head spins. Is this freedom, or loneliness? That is what makes grief so laughable. We always think we could have done things differently. But time is often linear, and moves in one direction. Grief is non negotiable.

Viola is tearing her hair out in pitiful, psychotic crying. Is her sadness as real as mine? Once and for all, this breaks me down. I close my eyes, for this world is too ugly a place to look at. I close my eyes in resignation, silently waiting for Sorin to announce the reminder of Tayash’s promise. He does, and my brother draws up his sword.

I hear Isabella say something and then Sorin's maniacal laughter again. Tayash roars Sorin's name in anger, and all of a sudden, the hall is silent. Even Viola. Her hand is clutching mine, and I see my knuckles turn a shade of bloodless white.

The ghost of foreboding doom surrounds me. A dark, murky feeling floods me as I find myself at the end of Sorin's pointing finger. As if I am drowning in ink.

“I want your sister, Tayash. Give her to me and I shall leave this kingdom without further damage.”

My world goes black.

The Baroness wakes me up. She is dressed in black. Her eyes swollen and lips drooping down to her chin, cheeks gaunt and hollowed, as if there is no strength left in her heart to go on. Not once had I considered her a person, and that guilt bites me all with a crushing force. Her husband took the brunt of my death.