NEW-YORK (FreenBecky)

Chapter 6: Fatal mistake

Author's note: A veeeery long chapter, prepare yourself for a liiiitle angst ;)

"What are you doing?" the brunette asks, looking up from the newspaper when I start kissing her tummy. I smile and rise higher towards her, giving her a fleeting kiss on the lips.

"I just want you..." is all I answer. I sit on her hips and remove the newspaper from her hands, turning her attention only to me. How beautiful she is. It seems like I can look at her forever.

She rolls her eyes and smiles, and my soul immediately feels so good. It seems like I'll never get used to it. Although, is it worth getting used to? I'm scared when I start thinking about it.

We have these, as I said earlier "whore-relationship" that last for about two or three weeks. And all this time - only sex. In fact, it's all a little more confusing. I often spend the night with her. And we even go for a walk. Yes, you heard right. We went for a walk. But more on that a little later. But we don't hold hands and so on and so forth, and all for one simple reason! We're not together. We're not dating. We only have sex and nothing more. But sometimes, when I'm with her, I forget that we are nothing to each other except sex partners. And most often I forget about it when she is gentle with me. Tender as she could be if she loved me...

And one such moment was just when I went through the seven paths of hell, and still took her out for a walk. I begged and begged her for a long time, and in the end, she gave in and we went out for a walk.

We went for a walk around the city center and ended up going into the central park. We didn't hold hands or anything. We just talked and drank coffee, but even so, I felt so comfortable with her. I've never felt this way with anyone as I do with her. Just being silent with her is everything for me. Catching her intricate gaze is always the most exciting feeling for me and at the same time so warm and pleasant.

I don't know what this feeling is called when you are next to a person and you feel so comfortable in her presence, so calm and warm, you want to look at her forever and it seems that there will never be enough, I want to always be close and for her, too, to be near... although no, I know what this feeling is called and God, with all my heart, I'm afraid to say it... with all my heart, I'm afraid to admit it... but I admit that I'm scared...

And so, we are standing by a small lake and looking at the swans swimming in it. I leaned my elbows on the railing and, looking at the lake, finished my almost cold coffee. She stands next to me, repeating my actions, only her gaze is directed at me. I feel it... And it would seem that I should have gotten used to it. I can't get used to her ever-devouring gaze, but I can't... for me, it's always exciting and to some extent scary, like the first time.

"What?" I grin, unable to resist and turning to face her. She just shrugs and smiles. I smiled timidly and lowered my gaze, turning back to face the lake. She continues to look at me. My heart, out of habit, begins to beat loudly, as if foreshadowing something. And it was not wrong...

I shuddered slightly when I felt her hand gently stroking my hair. Such a seemingly meaningless action, but it makes me feel so good. With little things that she rarely does, she gives me tenderness and warmth. And I never thought that she was capable of this. But sometimes I get angry at her for this, because I don't understand why... why, she does this to me... especially like this...

I turned to face her, and before I even had time to open my mouth, she leaned closer to me and simply kissed me. She kissed me,and it was a gentle and warm kiss. So fleeting, but so different...

"For what?" I smile like a fool when she pulled away from me and began to gently stroke my cheek, and then removed her hand, but still continued to look at me with a smile.