Walking with Him

Chapter: Finding My True First Love

I Love to Perform!

From a young age, performing was my passion. Though my voice may lack the power of Regine Velasquez, and my dance moves the grace of Rochelle Pangilinan, my love for the stage has always been steadfast. This passion was ignited in elementary school when I participated in poetry debates, driven by a deep desire to deliver outstanding performances. Each practice session was a joy, and I vividly pictured myself on stage, promising to hold onto that dream of performing.

As high school arrived, academic responsibilities grew. I was dedicated to my studies, striving to be on the honor roll, yet I never let go of my first love. I joined the theatre club and spent three years fully immersed in school plays and workshops. My ultimate dream was to one day perform on the grandest stages in the country, captivating audiences with my art.

However, life took an unexpected turn when it was time to register for senior high school. To my surprise, I found myself agreeing to my teacher's suggestion to enroll in the STEM strand, even though I hadn't even considered it. My heart was set on HUMSS and a future in broadcast communication. This decision marked a significant shift in my life, introducing me to the world of science and math—a world I hadn't anticipated but one I came to enjoy. I enjoyed it so much that, for a time, I almost forgot my first love.

As college approached, I was once again faced with a difficult decision. Should I pursue a course related to my SHS strand, or should I follow my original passion? The pressure was overwhelming, compounded by the pandemic, financial challenges, and the shift to online learning. Everything felt chaotic, and in the end, I chose to study Engineering. It's a prestigious course, a dream for many, yet I struggled to find my "why." It felt like I was repeating the same mistake I made during SHS registration, potentially sabotaging my dreams and future.

Now, still in college, I find myself grappling with this decision. I was supposed to graduate this year, but taking a year off in 2022 made me an irregular student. As a working student, I often feel exhausted, as if there's no time to dream, and the fire in my heart seems to have dimmed. My life now feels like a test of endurance, hoping for an easier future after graduation.

But what's the point of my story?

"Yes, my decisions led me away from my first love, but there's another side to this journey. A part I didn't see before, where God opened my eyes and revealed my true first love—Him."

A New Beginning

In high school, a schoolmate invited me to his church. Initially, I went out of curiosity, partly because he had a crush on me, and I wondered what the experience would be like. Would it feel like a date? 

The atmosphere was foreign to me, and I was uncomfortable, knowing very few people there. I had served in a Catholic church as a choir member and volunteer, but this church was different. The warmth and friendliness of the people stood out, and it didn't feel like a typical church. At the end of the service, all I wanted was to go home alone. 

But sometimes, God calls us in unexpected ways. 

Despite my discomfort, I returned for another service, drawn by the knowledge that some of my classmates would be there. That church became my spiritual home, marking the beginning of my relationship with God—my true first love.

It's been seven years since I first stepped into that church and began my journey with God. 

Back then, my dream was to perform on stage, to captivate audiences with my talent. But now, my ultimate dream is to stand among hundreds, raising our hands in worship and praise. 

God fulfilled my desire to be on stage, but with a grander purpose: to lead His people in worship.

Trusting in His Plan

You might feel uncertain, questioning whether your dreams will ever come to fruition. But have faith. 

God has a way of providing what's best for you, even if it's not what you anticipated. You may not understand how God works right now, but rest assured, He is working for your benefit.

As Isaiah 55:8-9 says:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Trust Him and make Him your ultimate desire, and everything else will follow. As Matthew 6:33 reminds us:

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

This is the testimony of how I found my true first love, walking with Him, and discovering the grand purpose He had for my life.