Merlin One-Shots

I'm a Monster

I still remember it as if it was yesterday. Arthur had lay in my arms dying.

"Arthur no, p-please. I can't lose you." I whispered through tears.

His face was blank. "All this time, I had a sorcerer as my servant. Even after my father had tried so hard to rid magic of our kindom. There is no place for you in Camelot Merlin. You lied to me, all this time."

The look in his eyes was nothing but hatred. All this time, I thought we could be friends. But I was a sorcerer. I deserved his hate, his anger. I should be there dying instead of him.

For the first time since he'd found out, our eyes met. With his final breath he said his last six words.

"How can I ever forgive you."

Two months later:

I tore a small bit of bread off and put it into my mouth. It felt dry and rubbery. I swallowed and shoved my plate aside. I didn't eat much these days. Just enough to not starve I guess. I didn't deserve to live. I don't know why I still bother.

"MERLIN." Oh, yeah. I'm still the king's servant. Just not Arthur's. That's Tom shouting. Thomas to me.

"COMING." I yelled back my voice hoarse.

On my way out I watched as Gaius mixed various potions while humming softly. Sometimes I was jealous of him. Arthur had been proud of him. He had saved people. He could be trusted. I couldn't.

When I arrived in Thomas' chambers- actually they were Arthur's. It sickened me just seeing him in there. Anyway, when I arrived he was fuming.

"I don't know why I even let you be my servant." He said loudly.

"Fire me then." I muttered.

He raised a hand and slapped me across the face. Hard. I flinched.

He gave me an evil grin. "That'll teach you. Put on my armour boy." I absent-mindedly fitted it on him and then went to fetch his sword. I could hear him and Gwen talking and then the unmistakably sound of her kissing him on the cheek. This made me angry. Arthur had loved her more than anything else in the world. She was his everything. And now here she was with another man. I picked up Tom's sword, the blade heavy in my hands.

"Hurry up boy." He scowled.

I spun around, walking fast.

"What are you-"

I split his neck right open and blood came gushing out. Gwen screamed and backed away as his body fell to the ground.

"That throne belonged to Arthur." I said, and then turned to Gwen.

"Please Merlin." She said, fear in her voice. "This isn't what Arthur would want. I know you haven't been the same since he died, but this is too far."

I advanced on her and she backed up, hitting a wall.

"I don't think Arthur would want to see you with another man either."

"I can't look after Camelot alone Merlin. Please just understand. I loved Arthur but I have to let him go." Tears were running down her face and she sunk to the floor. "We can work through this, everything will be alright. I'm your friend Merlin, don't do this."

I hesitated. "What was it again? When you and Arthur got married, you said something. What was it?"

Gwen looked up at me. "Wi- with all my heart."

"Oh, of course." I felt a smirk come across my lips. "With all your heart."

And then I drove the sword right through her chest.

It took an unusually long time for them to find the bodies. It was only as I lay on bed that night that the alarm bells sounded. Gaius rushed into my room.

"Do you know what happened?" He asked urgently.

"Thomas and Gwen are dead."

He was taken back. "H-how?" He stuttered.

I grinned. "I killed them."

He backed away stumbling a little on the stairs. Then he turned and started running. I muttered a spell of the old religion and watched his head jerk to the side with a crunch as his neck broke.

"The king and queen are dead". Leon announced. His eyes were shiny and he looked like he was trying not to cry. Percival stood next to him, staring at the ground.

After a few minutes he said,voice cracking, "Court dismissed."

I stayed behind and stared at them.

"Merlin?" Leon asked.

"You could have saved Arthur."I replied.

"I, he, Arth-" Leon stuttered but gave up.

"It's your fault he's dead." I knew it wasn't true, even then, but I needed someone to blame.

Leon walked up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Arthur was a good knight, and king. But Morgana was strong. It's no ones fault he died." Leon was shaking. I stared at him for a few seconds before taking a knife out of its sheath and stabbing Leon in the neck. Percival stood at the opposite end of the hall. It took him a few seconds to react, but then he was in front of me, a sword at my throat. He looked me in the eyes and said one word.

"Why?"

And then I asked myself that. Why was I doing this. Killing my friends wouldn't bring Arthur back. I dropped to my knees. Percival lowered his sword.

Hot tears were streaming down my face. "He loved all those people, but he never loved me. He could never accept me. And now all my friends are dead. I-I thought killing would make me feel better. I was jealous. I looked up at Percival. His expression uad changed to concern.

"You were one of Arthur's closest friends Merlin." He told me.

I shook my head. "Not when he found out.. Found out I was a sorcerer"

Percival didn't look as shocked as I had imagined. He sat down next to me. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"You'd kill me."

"You're our friend, friends don't kill each other." He said putting an arm around me.

"No, they don't." What had I done. This was messed up. I'm insane.

I looked at Percival. The knife was still in my hand. "I'm a monster." I said, and stuck the knife into my chest.