Rafflesia's Lament

Chapter 12

*Just a heads up this chapter and upcoming chapters will have problematic language/words/slurs. I do not agree with the use of them but am using them in terms of characterization in the story. Technically in most cases, the character using them has agency in reclaming them. Technically. Just wanted to give a heads-up*

His first day at the beach house was almost over. Charlie felt like he only just got there, but time went by ridiculously fast. It was unusual because time typically slowed down when he smoked.

He spent the first hour testing out lyrics to a new song that he was writing. He used to see writing music as obnoxious. Of course, that was only because he was forced to do it when he was growing up.

After he finished writing he was hungry, so he went out and ordered food to take back to the beach house. He watched a movie as he ate. And continued to watch another as he opened cans of beer. He had a high tolerance, so he drank until he felt something.

When the second movie ended, he felt sweaty and restless, so he decided to end the day by going outside to walk on the beach. The breeze cooled him down as he hiked along the shoreline.

Charlie was now sitting outside on the sand as the sun set over the water. The golden rays warmed his face. It was beautiful. This whole day has been nice.

But he wasn't satisfied. The high from the weed and alcohol was causing his head to hurt. He probably went a little overboard...

And he felt lonely, which made him feel stupid because he wanted this loneliness.

It probably was just because it was getting dark. He always felt worse about himself when the night came. Falling asleep could end this feeling but the thought of trying to sleep tonight terrified him. He was going to be alone... in that house. Alone in the world.

He ran his fingers through his hair. It made him feel a little better. Having long hair always made him feel better. He couldn't believe he shaved his hair two years ago. It made everything worse because he couldn't run his fingers through his hair. He couldn't believe he let his papa shave his hair when he came out as a man. It made everything worse because he couldn't run his fingers through his hair.

He pulled roughly on his hair.

He was overthinking.

He was horrible.

Maybe he should call someone...

He should call someone. Not Alpha. Especially with how out of touch he was with reality right now. Especially with how he rejected him to be here in the first place. It was a bad idea to call him today. He will call him tomorrow.

But he was lonely, he should call someone. And Charlie knew the exact person.

His twin sister Clementine.

They have been talking less and less in recent years. It's hard to communicate when you are in different countries. But hearing her voice right now would help him so much. She always knew how to make him feel better. Ever since they were born, she has been a light in his life.

He missed her so much. Why did he leave her?

He found it hard to look through his contacts as his vision was slightly blurry. People would often ask him if he saw worse with only having one eye. He would tell them he had gotten so used to it he would often forget about it. This wasn't one of those times.

He finally was able to find his sister's contact number under the family section of his phone. His shaky fingers struggled to click the button.

Time seemed to only slow down as it rang. He felt his skin crawl at each ring. What if she didn't pick up? What would he do then?