The Eastwood Archives is not a place to be crying your heart out after a heartbreak.
No, definitely not when the said public library houses endless rumors of a weird Library Ghost that appears at midnight.
But when Ebony Suarez, a graduating college...
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I guess the worst part of feeling betrayed is harboring trust issues that cannot be remedied by time alone.
"Good morning, sleepy head. Time to wake up."
I blinked as the first rays of sunshine slowly seeped into the library and hit my face, reminding me of the reality that was waiting for me outside. Ronan's voice felt like a soothing balm to my wounds. I silently, irrationally, wished that I could wake up to the sound every morning in hopes of casting away all the doubts of yesterday.
But I know that's selfish of me.
"Good morning."
We both have our own lives to deal with.
This... Whatever we have is just a temporary escape from the things we can't confront yet.
As I sat up from the bundle of blankets inside his little book fortress, I noticed Ronan already prepared a glass of water and some snacks on the makeshift table. It was made from leather-bound books, carefully stacked like furniture. The fairy lights long gone off, and the library was lit with the morning light coming from the nearby windows.
"What time is it?" I asked and rubbed my eyes, yawning as I sat next to time.
"It's 5:30 A.M., you still have to drop by your apartment, right?"
Suddenly, I was recalled what awaited me in that apartment yesterday. My eyes immediately fell on my wrists, the bruises a bitter reminder of my ex's presence in Eastwood. What are the odds that he already left?
Ronan became silent, and it was at that moment did I realize his eyes followed my line of sight.
"I don't suppose you got those on accident?"
We both know I didn't. But I guess Ronan won't ask me directly about it, testing the waters first if it is a topic I'm comfortable with.
For a moment, I had a mental debate on whether or not I should just tell him the truth...
Well, fuck it.
I'm tired of keeping it all to myself. I'm so fucking tired of letting my ex affect me in so many ways. I'm so sick and tired of compromising just for the sake of everyone around me, even when I know it's a form of self-destruction at this point.
"I ran away to Eastwood because I wanted to start anew, that much I think you already know by now," I started. Ronan nodded, encouraging me to continue. It was a silent promise that he'd listen to whatever left my mouth, just like how I listened to him reading me a story for my book review. I took in a deep breath and, with trembling hands, I continued, "So, I have an ex-boyfriend..."
And I told him everything.
I told him about how we met, how we fell in love, how I was always manipulated into thinking that I would never be enough. I told him how I caught Anthony cheating on me, how he wrecked my confidence until there was nothing left but the lingering sense that I was incomplete. All the gaslighting, all the pain, all the subtle jabs he took out on me whenever he was having a bad day. How Anthony reduced me to a shell of who I was before I met him, how I struggled these past six months just to convince myself that I could survive this.
