BTS Family

Missing Mumma

An pov

It's been 2 days since the incident. Yn has been traumatized and refuses to talk to any of the members except Tae, hobi and namjoon. Everytime she's around the others or when they try to approach her sw breaks out into a panic attack and has meltdowns. So taehyung let's her stay in his room where she just watches tv and studies. Blackpink call her now and then to keep her company.

"Hay baby, what have you been up to hm?" Namjoon asks as he walks in on her doing math. "Math..." She responded.

Namjoon pov

"Want Oppa's help?" I asked. Yn just shook her head. She's been very solemn and distant for the past two days. I feel horrible about it. I just wished we had listened to her. Technically I was grateful she wasn't breaking out into a session of hyperventilation whenever I approached her like she does with Jin hyung, yoongi hyung, jimin or kook. "Sweetheart, maybe you could ask your unnies to visit you sometime this week hm? Or maybe go out with them?" I suggested. I really needed her to socialise and stay emotionally healthy. "....mhm sure" she replied. I sighed and sat next to her. "Oppa.....I miss mama...." She said out of the blue. My eyes lit up. It's been days since Jin hyung was drowning in guilt for his actions. Did she finally forgive him!? "You want me to call him over hun? He's also been wanting to see his little cupcake for a while..." I said.

To my dismay she replies "no....not Jin Oppa.....I mean mama...." It hit me then. The poor kid was asking for her parents. Her parents who had passed on. It hurt more knowing she didn't even wanna address Jin hyung as "mama" anymore. I worried how he would react to this. "I know sweetie.....Oppa knows.....you wanna light a candle and speak to mama?" I asked. It was a belief all the members and I followed. We talked to our grandparents who had passed on that way. We would light up a little jasmine candle and speak our mind to whoever we wanted to until the candle burned out. "Will mama really hear me? Will she come to me?" She asked. I smile softly. "Baby....mama will always be there and listen to you..... she'll reply through other means of communication..." I said.

Soon we went and got a candle for her and lit it up. It's authentic aroma engulfed the room and brough a peaceful and calming atmosphere. I stood away and gave her some space. Yet I could hear her whisper.

"Mama....I miss you so much. Why did you leave me? I wish you could be here and protect me just like how you did when appa used to be drunk and beats me up. Mama....Kookie Oppa is so bad to me. He hates me so much. He didn't even listen to me when I tried to explain myself. Everyone in the house likes Maddie more. Mama I don't like being here. Everyone scares me. They all beat me. Jin Oppa even used the belt. It was so scary mama. I couldn't even breath. But he didn't care. Mama I can't even sit or stand without feeling pain. They beat me so so much. Mama I wish you could be with me again. I love you so so much. Even more than any of the Oppas...." She said as her voice started to crack. She placed her head on the table as she began to sob silently. The poor girl cried even after the candle blew out.

"Ynie.....there there hun. It's gonna be alright....." I comforted. I gently pick her up, placing her on my hip as I wiped off her tears. To my shock her soft sobs became wails. Wails of longingness for her mom. "EOMMA.......I WANT EOMMA......" She bawled. I bounced her hoping to soothe the cries. She was really a crying mess. "Shhh shhh, baby you have to calm down....." I cooed. Her wails broke my heart. It wasn't everyday she was screaming and missing her mom. Jimin looked into the room worriedly. "EOMMA.....I W-WANT M-M-MUMMA....." she bawled. "Uh-....I'll..I'll get Jin hyung" he said. I immediately stopped him. "she means her real parents..." I said softly. He looked at me shocked. It had been ages since she cried for them. Fuck, I thought. That candle prayer mechanism really fuelled her longingness.

Jin pov

I rushed towards taehyung room. Was she calling for me? Did she miss me? Did she finally forgive me? I thought as I ran over. The sight I saw was heartbreaking. She was bawling her eyes out. He body trembled and her eyes were fully closed with tears pouring out of them. "H-hyung....she's crying for her real parents....." Jimin said as he put a hand on my shoulder. A soft gasp escaped my lips. Oh dear.....was this cos of me?? "C-can I have her joonie?" I asked as I took a step closer. I wanted to hold her and affirm her that I'm here for her. I wanted my baby to be back in my arms where she used to be. "H-hyung......maybe next time.....I don't want her to have another panic attack amidst this" namjoon replied. It broke my heart. I gave him a sad smile and a nod before leaving. I went to my room and closed the door before sobbing softly. Why? Just why did I have to do all this? The poor kid misses her parents now. She's inconsolable. I felt heavy hearted as guilt took over me. Ynie, I'm so so sorry baby. I'll do anything to make it up to you... I thought to myself.

Just then I hear a knock at my door. I immediately wipe my tears and steady myself. "Come in." I said. "Hyung? Everything good?" Hobi asked. I nodded and tried to seem chill. I didn't wanna burden him with my guilt. "Hyungie, please. You gotta speak up. Please talk to me. I know your not fine" he said while sitting down next to me. "Y-yn.... She's scared. She misses her real parents. I-i.... I'm the reason. I can't bear it hobi.... I cant bear the guilt of hurting her so much, both physically and mentally. Sh-she loved me so much. I-im a fucking monster.." I confessed and sobbed into his shoulder.

"Hyung, listen. I know how you feel. But, I dont think you should beat yourself up over this. You forgave Maddie for what she did right? Forgive yourself too. Ynie will forgive you too, don't beat yourself up please.... It's gonna be fine" hobi assured me while wrapping his arms around me. I felt pathetic, crying like a baby when it was clearly my mistake. Why was I like this!!??? I was the oldest. Wasn't I supposed to be everybody's comfort space? Why was I seeking consolidation and comfort from my youngers?? "Hyung......I think you should sleep...you know, get some rest. You haven't slept in two days. Please.... Yn will be fine. Tae, namjoon hyung and I will take care of her. Just.....just please get some rest... Eyebags are forming on your world wide handsome face." Hobi suggested. I chuckled weakly. Gosh I hadn't gotten even an ounce of sleep for the past days. Yn's condition really bothered me. Especially the thought that I was the reason she was like this. I decided it would be better for everyone if I just had some rest. I agreed with hobi and tried taking a nap. Though, my head was still clouded with my baby. I hope she comes back to me....