𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐭 || 𝐕𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤/ 𝐓𝐚𝐞𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤

10- I miss him, but do I want him?

Jungkook woke up in a complete mess. Eyes baggy, pale skin, a miserable headache that could make you go insane for the entire day and an aching back which may have been a result of sleeping on the study chair. He took a look around his room, terrible.

His clothes cluttered on the floor, his bed un-made, coffee mugs piling up on the table, and messed up rug. He rubbed his eyes and groaned due to the throbbing pain in his head. Why did it have to happen today only? Maybe he should answer it himself for he was the one who only drank coffee yesterday and hardly had one meal and refused to sleep on the super comfy bed his parents had got him and instead decided to sleep on the chair.

Damn. He really was going insane. Yes, he had gone through some really painful shit, but this was the rock bottom. He had never let it affect his room atleast. He could do it with a broken heart.

Oh God, and then, the pain hit him. The memories hit him. The realization hit him. And it hurt. Oh Lord, it hurt like hell. He felt so low. Suddenly, nothing made sense anymore. Nothing intrigued him and he just wanted to sleep back again. He wanted to numb his brain that was always accelerating. He wanted to put a full stop to it. He so badly wanted to move on.

But was it easy?

To let go of all that? Not easy at all. Infact harder than anything he ever was challenged with, be it assignments, heartbreaks or sports. It was very, very hard. He couldn't. Why did he need to? The fact that his parents went out their way and decided to search suddenly for a partner and get him wedded? Wasn't it like, really insane. Another kind of insane?

How could they do that to him? How could they literally oversee everything he was feeling and go search for a husband for him, when he didn't even require one yet? God, it's terrible. It's insane. It's absurd.

He couldn't even stand up, he couldn't even muster up the courage to face the world. He did not even know how to act. How to speak. How to live anymore.

He misses him. He misses Yoongi. Why did he leave? Why so many years of gorgeous memories when all of it had end? Why? Why does that had to happen to him?

He couldn't breathe. His thoughts clogging up his mind. There was a lot of fog in his brain. He didn't know how to clear it up. Not sooner, a heard a knock on his door. He stood up to attend.

"Oh, Jungkook. How are you, dear?" His mother asked in her usual comforting voice, sending warmth throughout his body.

"I'm fine, I guess." Well, he didn't look fine. And she absolutely didn't buy it.

"You're not. Your head hurts, doesn't it?" Usually when his head hurts, there's a redness across the sides of his forehead. This made it very clear that infact, his head was bursting for his eyes were also red.

"It does. Does it show?" Jungkook asks, hissing due to the pain. "It does, a little, yes. Now come on, go brush your teeth, and have your meal. You haven't eaten much yesterday." His mother says in a rather scolding tone.

He sighs and goes back inside his room, making his way to the bathroom, he locks the door to freshen up.

His mother enters the room, surprised at its appearance. His room never looks so bad. And infact, mess irritates him. Makes him lose his focus. She calls one of the maids and instructs to make everything fall into its place. Jungkook never needed a maid to clean his room. He'd do it himself. But today, his mother knew, he didn't have enough strength to do it.

"Madam, is Sir Jungkook, fine?" The maid speaks, in her british dialect. It was very obvious to notice for a person who lightens up the atmosphere seems so quiet and rather reserved these days.