Ahana~ A tale of patience and desires

6. maharani Janki and Bela

Akshaj :

After spending almost an hour in her arms , i finally got relaxation . Her hands were still caressing my locks as she was soothing the  achy wires of my heart . My body was feeling flow of calmness and peace whenever her fingers stroking my scalp. I found my safe place..my safe person. No matter how much pain was killing my inner but her presence was becoming therapy to ease . Taking her hand in mine from my head I pulled out from her lap staring in the eyes .

"I'm sorry for last night Rani Sa..I was.."

But she didn't let me speak further and held my hand as if she understands the pain through my heavy words.

"It's ok Rana Sa..i know you weren't  intended to do that..."

I lowered my gaze hearing her more guilt washed over me .  But her next statement surprised me .

"Aur kal raat apke hoton ne bhut araam diya ..wahan hmari gaal pe"

"And yesterday night your lips soothed my cheek '

Her shade darken  during speaking that i couldn't stop myself but cupped her face in my hands and pulled her on my lap . My head resting on the headboard and i settled her on my thighs making her comfortable,she was taken aback by my actions but didn't protest.

Caressing her cheeks with my thumb and felt the redness has almost faded . Closed my eyes to exhale deeply thinking if I was ready to share my trauma with my little wife yet or but I can't keep the truth about my state hidden from her. After knowing it'll her choice if she wants to be in this marriage or not.

"Rana Sa.... preshan mat hoyen... Agar apko koi baat sta rhi hai ..to aap hume bta skte hain"

"Rana Sa...don't worry ..if something is bothering you..you can share with me"

My eyes opened slowly hearing her soothing words .

I took a deep breath before speaking..

"Ahana .... I can't control anything when I get nightmares ,no matter how much I try my past isn't leaving my mind and let me sleep peacefully....though the wounds  from childhood had healed but it's scares are still fresh in my soul that  does nothing but drench the blood out my veins and tearing up my heart "

My eyes pricked with thick water and voice became heavier as my breaths but calmness hugged me when she put her both hands in my hairs ruffling the tension out of my head .

"It hurts Ahana..it's do very brutally.....she used to torture me,,,she killed the child inside me and I got blamed for not to accept her as my mother because of my ego....it was never this thing... whenever I seek motherly love from her ..i always ended up having a new wound on my body....and no one believed me ..my own father didn't trust me instead i got the responsibility of my state and they declared me mental...."

I cried out in her arms ,no matter how much strong I'm but at night it starts to haunt me.

And my nerves calmed when she caged me sending her warmth and comfort.

"Sshh.. hume aap par poora vishwas hai"

"Sshh...i trust you '

"You can leave me and this marriage if  you want "

I told her with heavy heart though I got emotionally attached to her a lot and my heart raced on the thought of her leaving me.

"I can't even leave you in my dreams..... Rana Sa ...the only day I'll leave you is on my bier "

Hearing her words surely shocked me but relief went in my desperate heart .

I used to think that if I get woman who'll understand me , trust me and be the light of my dark life..and finally I got her  and there is no chance i can take even a single breath without her . I'm already in love with her .  Not only her beauty attracted me but her