These Hoes Are Irrefutable Girl Kissers

SEIZE MY LOVE (ENGLOT): Final Chapter

CHARLOTTE AUSTIN

It has been a few months since I left the mansion, and a lot of things have happened since then.

Guess who's now in the world of showbiz? Me, duh. It sounds a little random and too easy in a span of months, but it really is not considering my background in modelling and pageantry. As much as I have stayed out of the limelight, I still have connections and quite a social media presence. But I wouldn't say it's all planned, really. In fact, it has all been a series of coincidences that has led me to pursue a career as an actress. The most important one is me bumping into Davika, an old friend of mine.

Davika is one of Thailand's most popular actresses recently, and she's the one who has pushed me to try out acting. She has also introduced me to her manager, who has become mine, too, and as coincidences go, Davika's supposed co-star has had a family emergency that prompted her to back out of the series that they're about to shoot, so here I am, thrusted into this world, with a new GL series that will launch in a few months, and a new-found fame served on a silver platter.

It's a good thing, to be honest, because it will distract me from the emptiness I am still feeling due to P'Fa's absence in my life. I try to ignore the pain, and most times I am able to, but then I go home alone and all I could think about is her. Which sucks big time, because that's the only aspect in my life I have no control over. While my life has been busy, one thing that has not happened is seeing her again. I have kept in touch with Orm and P'Faye, which is a little surprising and quite touching because it means that they do consider me as one of their own, even if P'Fa has pushed me out of her life. Yet, P'Fa never tried to get in touch with me, and neither did I. If she can be that cold towards me, I sure as hell can be.

Well, okay, she hasn't cut me off completely because I do see her watching my TikTok lives, and she also sends gifts a bunch of times -- the most expensive ones, of course -- but I act like I don't see it because I'm still hurt and I'm mad, and I don't want someone who could so easily assume the worst about me without even taking the time to listen to me.

That doesn't mean that I don't get butterflies whenever I see her stalking me (even if it's just online) and still acting overprotective towards me. One time, a person in my comments said something mean to me, and I see P'Fa asking me if I wanted that person killed (with angry emoji and all) and I immediately say no, a little too panicked for my liking, because my followers are laughing, thinking it's all just a joke, but I know for a fact that she is absolutely not joking, at all.

At least she's now asking me first and not just randomly hurting people anymore. But she answers 'Okay', then I say thank you, and that's pretty much the only interaction we've had post-breakup.

That doesn't mean I stopped caring. I always ask Orm or P'Faye how she is doing, and what I've been hearing makes me a little sad. Apparently, she's back to her old self -- much more temperamental, brooding, and a lot more trigger-happy. I have also seen snippets of her in Orm's IG when they're out in the clubs -- and she has been partying hard. I couldn't help but be jealous when I see her with other girls, dead drunk and flirty, but I try to not care. I don't have a right, after all.

So I focus on my own life, and I do party, as well, though I try to avoid the places The Quad frequents. As much as I miss most of the gang, I don't think I am capable of seeing them together, with me as an outsider, and not feel sad all over again. I'm happy enough just to have coffee with Orm once in a while, though she, too, has been busy now that she and Snake Lady have elevated their relationship to the next level.

Tonight is a good night. I'm with Davika and a couple of celebrity friends in a new club. We were invited, I guess to add a bit buzz to the grand opening, and I'm loving the VIP treatment we're getting -- free booze, good music, exceptional vibe.