𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠 | 𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐝 ✓

𝟐𝟏 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬

Warning: This part contains mentioning of violence and blood
(Only read when you're okay with that)

__________

August 23, 2023

Yeosang's fingertip stroked the soft skin of Jongho's upper arm. It was like touching something fragile that could break with any wrong move. Yeosang felt Jongho's gaze on him. He knew he was awake and watching his every move. And that knowledge felt good.

Yeosang looked up. Jongho's hand traveled to his cheek, then they shared a soft, fleeting kiss. Yeosang let his head sink back onto Jongho's chest. They were still lying on the couch, in the middle of books, in the middle of the night. Yeosang listened to Jongho's heartbeat. The rhythmic sound triggered a comforting warmth in him. As long as he could hear that sound, he knew everything was good. As long as that heart was beating, he was content.

"Have you been in love before?" Yeosang mumbled. His fingers ran over Jongho's arm as before. Silence surrounded them both and Yeosang waited for an answer. "Yes," Jongho said quietly. Yeosang nodded slightly and closed his eyes without moving.
"Her name was Ivy, she came from Thailand," Jongho continued after a long pause.

Yeosang opened his eyes again. His gaze slid over the dark bookshelves that were in front of them. "Why didn't it work?" Yeosang wanted to know. He didn't know if Jongho was ready to share this story with him, but at that moment, everything felt so familiar and safe. Again, it took Jongho an eternity to answer. Yeosang was sure that it wasn't easy for him to talk about it. That's why he appreciated it evenmore when he finally got an answer.

"She said I was too boring and she didn't like my body." Yeosang's breath caught and he straightened up, startled. "What the hell?" he exclaimed, looking at Jongho. He nodded slightly. His pain flashed through his eyes. "I tried to forget what she said, but I can't." Yeosang looked at him in disbelief. "She was blind. Totally blind." Yeosang spoke in frustration. He couldn't understand how someone could say something like that to Jongho.

"And you don't deserve her," he added quickly. His hand lightly stroked Jongho's stomach. The corners of Jongho's mouth twitched slightly, but his smile was so sad that just looking at him made Yeosang's heart sting. "Your body is perfect." Yeosang's eyes wandered over Jongho's face, then over his upper body. "And so beautiful," he said with a smile. His hands underlined his words with gentle touches.

Yeosang saw in the corner of his eye that Jongho was also smiling slightly at his words, and it warmed his heart. "And you're not boring," Yeosang said firmly, looking up again. "If you were boring, you would hardly have done it with me in a bookstore in the middle of the night."

Yeosang received a light punch on the arm. "Ouch," he complained and Jongho began to grin. "I'm just telling the truth." Jongho didn't seem to want to argue with him and nodded slightly. "I'm really telling the truth." Yeosang repeated and let his head sink back onto Jongho's chest. He sincerely hoped that his words had at least achieved something.

Jongho's fingers ran into Yeosang's hair. Yeosang got goosebumps slightly. "What about you? Have you ever been in love?" Yeosang's throat tightened just thinking about it, but he didn't hesitate to answer for a second. "Twice." He didn't know why it was so easy to share things with Jongho.

"I met the first guy at school, he was the reason..." Yeosang sighed loudly. "That I came out involuntarily and my parents hated me." Yeosang noticed how Jongho's hand paused in its movement. He was probably surprised. Yeosang didn't give him a chance to answer. "Even though everyone had hated me, it was okay because I had him." A sad smile played around Yeosang's lips. He had been so stupid and naive. "But he was an asshole. I was just a toy to him. He never loved me."