UNENDING

24- Believe

-ASIYA-

I sat on the cold stone steps that led up to Inna's front door, the evening air crisp against my skin. The sun was setting, casting a warm golden hue over the village, but it did little to ease the turmoil inside me. I had come out here to clear my head, but it seemed like no matter how hard I tried, my thoughts always circled back to the same place—back to Al-Qasim.

I had tried calling him again, a few more times since that day, and every time, the call never went through. The cold, automated voice telling me the number was unreachable became more unbearable each time. I remembered the day I left, how I had considered not going back. Just for a split second, I imagined starting over, building a small business with the funds I had saved, and sustaining myself independently. The thought had seemed so radical, so liberating, but I quickly pushed it away, telling myself that it was impossible, that I had to return.

But during my stay here at Inna's, those thoughts had started to creep back in. What if I could stay here? I could start something small, something meaningful, and live a quiet, contented life in the village. The simplicity of it all was appealing. But now, all those thoughts were gone, wiped away by a single, overwhelming desire: to go back. I needed to know that Al-Qasim wasn't angry with me, that he wasn't moving on, forgetting about me. The thought of that possibility sent a shiver down my spine. It terrified me more than anything.

My life wasn't a fairytale—it was far from it. But despite everything, I didn't hate being married to him. That realization hit me hard, like a punch to the gut. I had stopped thinking about my parents, about why I had left, and all I could focus on now was him. I just wanted to see him, hear his voice, anything to know that there was still something there.

The creak of the door behind me broke my thoughts, and I turned to see Inna stepping out onto the porch. She was holding a cup of tea, her warm eyes studying me carefully as she took a seat beside me on the steps. We sat in silence for a moment before she spoke, her voice soft but firm.

"Are you thinking about him again?" she asked, her gaze steady on the horizon.

"Yes," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. There was no point in lying; she could see right through me.

Inna hummed, a knowing sound that made my heart ache even more. "What do you plan to do, Asiya?"

I stared down at my hands, twisting the fabric of my dress between my fingers. "I don't know," I confessed. It was the truth—I had no idea what I was supposed to do.

"If you want to stay here permanently," Inna began, her tone gentle but firm, "you're welcome to. But you need to sort everything out with your husband first. You can't live with this kind of uncertainty."

I didn't respond, the weight of her words pressing down on me like a boulder.

"And if this is the path you wish to take," she continued, "you must ask for a divorce."

The word sent a shockwave through my body, and I shook my head violently, as if trying to shake the very idea out of existence. "No," I said quickly, the word escaping before I could stop it.

Inna nodded slowly, a small smile playing on her lips. "Your reaction tells me everything I need to know," she said, her voice tinged with understanding. "You want to be with him."

I bit my lip, tears welling up in my eyes. I didn't want to admit it, not even to myself. But Inna had a way of getting to the truth, even when I tried to hide it. She let the silence linger for a moment before she asked the question I had been dreading.