Memory Lane (into the wild night) | ishman |

Dreaming Of Reality

"Yeah, I'd also like to spend some of it on my family as well, maybe help my sibling with their college funds."

"How many siblings do you have?" Shubman asks, taking a long sip from his water.

"There's two of us." Ishan says matter-of-factly.

The both of them smile at each other, sharing in the moment of levity. Once it peters out, Ishan feels a tightness in his chest. Fuck, he likes Shubman, he really does like him a lot.

"So, I told you what I want the money for, what are you going to do with it?" Ishan asks with full sincerity.

Shubman's ace falls, as well as his gaze to his drink. "My dad. I'm only out here in Vegas, working for Abhishek, because I needed extra income. The family business is fine, but my dad...he had a bad accident last year. Heart attack while driving, hit another vehicle," Shubman's body visibly shakes at the memory, emotions crawling up his spine uncomfortably. Ishan frowns, reaching out to place his hand over Shubman's, to anchor him. Shubman accepts the touch, turning his hand to hold Ishan properly. "Thankfully, nobody else was hurt, but he was in the hospital for weeks. It was awful, and between the medical bills and the car insurance...we've been in a bit of debt."

"Oh, Shubman..."

"Honestly," Shubman exhales, "I would love to not care about the money, but god I just...I want to get us out of the hole, I want my dad and the business to be financially safe again. He's better, but I know the recovery would have been faster if we didn't have to worry about this shit."

"Of course, I completely understand," Ishan assures him, wrapping his other hand around Shubman's bicep. The closeness between them is palpable, but neither feel any urge to pull away. "So, what should we do?"

Shubman shrugs. "Abhishek said we should just stay married and take the money. We can just live our lives and then get divorced later, don't ever have to say a word to each other."

"Yeah..."

A surge of bravery flows through Shubman's body. He can't stop himself, he is reveling in the feeling of Ishan clutching his body, holding him so close. Shubman wants that, he wants Ishan so bad. "I don't want that. I don't want to never speak to you again."

"Shubman," Ishan sighs.

"No, please listen," Shubman pleads. He leaves his seat and kneels down, clutching both of Ishan's hands in his. It's almost like a proposal all over again, and it makes Ishan's heart race. "Let me say what I have to say, and if you don't like it or don't agree, if you want to put up boundaries and tell me to fuck off and never speak to you again, then that's fine, I will respect whatever you want. But...god Ishan, I feel something. I think you feel it too. The money is something to figure out for sure but, I want to give this a go. I want to take you out properly, I want the chance to prove that this isn't just some drunken fluke."

Ishan's mouth falls open, his eyes start to glaze with tears, and he feels like he can't breathe. He wants to say yes. He wants to let himself have this, but he honestly doesn't know if his heart can take it.

"Shubman ...can I tell you why I'm even here this weekend?" Ishan asks, breathless and shaky. "I'm not just here for a fun weekend with the girls, okay? See, I had this boyfriend, Anshumat, we were together for two and half years. We used to talk a lot about marriage and babies and a big house and all of that, and I thought everything was going so well. But then, I started to do really well at work, and I was busy a lot. I did a lot of weekends away, and one day a few months ago, I got home earlier, he wasn't expecting me and..." Ishan's voice cracks, eyes closing. "I caught him with another man, in our bed. He blamed me. He said I didn't care about him and that I was too busy, but he never talked to me about it before. I found out that he'd cheated with more than just that guy."

"Ishan..."

"I stayed in bed and barely went out for months. The only thing I've done is pull my shit together to go to work, and that's why my friends brought me here. They just wanted me to have fun, and I have been but... but, god I like you, I like you a lot, okay? But I just... I don't know if... my heart couldn't take it if..."

His voice trails off.

Their eyes meet and Shubman's look like his heart has broken into a million pieces. He places a hand on Ishan's cheek, thumbing away the tear that's fallen. "Only a fucking moron could hurt you, that guy...he isn't worth a goddamn thing, I don't need to meet him to know that. I'm so sorry you've had to go through that."

Ishan shakes his head. "I want to trust you, I want to give you a chance but..."

"I understand, I get it," Shubman says in a hushed tone. "I know I have no way of proving it, and you have a million reasons not to trust me, but I have never done anything like that, and I never would. If you give me the chance, I'd treat you right. I want to."

"You're too good to be true," Ishan says. "This whole thing...it's like I'm in some strange fantasy but I'm also being tortured by it. You've been sent to destroy me."

Shubman chuckles. "I promise, I'd never hurt you, metaphorically or otherwise."

Ishan truly believes him. It cracks the wall around his heart with how much he believes him.

They let the conversation go, both settled on just remaining in a sham of a marriage for the money, and going their separate ways in life after. It's not explicitly said, but Shubman feels it's what Ishan wants. What he'd admit that he wants anyway.

They order some food, and eat around light conversation, Shubman makes as many corny jokes as he can in order to lighten the mood. All of it works to make Ishan feel better, to make him feel that pull and that connection that he's had since he woke up and his memories of last night resurged in his mind. There's something about being alone with Shubman fully sober, that lets Ishan know even more that his feelings are true.

"Would you like to dance?" Shubman asks, as the sound of music flows around them from the bar.

Ishan doesn't hesitate to say yes, and lets Shubman lead them close to the balcony, wrapping his arms around Ishan's waist, as
Ishan's own go around his neck. A soft breeze moves through the air, and the twinkling light of the stars in the night sky creates an almost mystical feeling around them. Stone cold sober and Ishan feels light as air in Shubman's arms.

Ishan bites lip, looking deeply into Shubman's eyes. He sees only a heart of gold, a crazy situation but someone he can trust. Someone who wants his heart and would treat it delicately. Ishan thought his sense of wonder and romance was broken long ago, but Shubman has changed all of that. He's opened him again, and Ishan wants to welcome it. He is welcoming it.

Standing on his toes, Ishan gives Shubman's cheek a kiss, then whispers with a shaky voice, "Shubman, would you like to come to my room?"

Shubman's eyes go a little wide. "A-are you sure?"

"Yes," Ishan says, no hesitation.

[next chapters are absolutely freaky ahh🫦🎀
which will be flashbacks from THAT night]