The Book Of Me & You

"Hurricane Through Our House Of Cards"

Ricky?" The apartment was dark, pitch black other than one shred of light coming from the closed door of their children's shared bedroom.

It was unusual for it to be that dark and she knew that, which both concerned her and made her brow rise, whispering out into the room, "Ricky?" No answer. Taking slow footsteps into the kitchen she searched for the light switch and whispered again, "Ric - you scared me!" His back was to her, the black button down he was wearing earlier only aiding in hiding him, "Why are you sitting in the dark?"

He turned slowly, not looking at her face as he spoke, "When were you going to tell me?"

"What are you talking about -"

"Don't lie to me!" Ricky boomed, pounding his open palm squarely against the table, "Not about this!" It was silent for a few seconds, before his voice broke through again, this time small, "I know, okay? Nora heard everything... the counselor wished you well by the way..." He sniffled, pushing back the chair to stand, legs shaky as they took two steps forward towards the sink.

"When is it happening, Amy?" Knuckles white as they grasped the counter top, trying to keep all the emotions bubbling to the surface at bay. He sniffled twice, slowly turning on his boot heel to face her, his glassy eyes red from letting the tears fall from his eyes prior to her arrival home after midnight. "When are you leaving me for New York?"

Amy's face fell ashen at his words; frozen in terror of the one thing she tried so desperately to keep hidden, now being pushed to the forefront.

Her eyes were wide, staring in disbelief at his words as his jaw twitched, and her eyes became glassy, "It's not what you think - it's not that simple"

"It clearly wasn't much of a choice now was it?" His tone was cold, "You told O'Malley your plans - it seems pretty cut and dry to me", he sniffled, "You're leaving me for Hudson in New York."

Shaking her head, Amy sniffled, "I only told her that to get her off my back about going. I haven't decided yet." It was silent for a few seconds, her footsteps against the tile inching closer to him; moving until their faces were blended into the darkness. She took his hands, "Come with me." Ricky sighed at her. "We can start a new life, in a new city where there aren't any distractions, or people who constantly snicker and judge us for our mistakes - A fresh start for our family."

He pulled back against her touch, "We can't just uproot our lives and go off to live some fantasy in New York."

"Why not?"

"Why? For starters we have no place to live, or money, or daycare - and no family up there!" He let her hands go, "You can't just expect John and Emma to be thrust into a new environment where they have nobody but us, and be happy."

"Would you be happy?" Her voice was small, sinking back against the countertop she was leaning against. His silence shot through her as she sniffled, "What else is there?"

"What else - Amy, look around -" He expanded his arms out, "we have jobs, we have a free apartment, we have family literally every few blocks in town - and we have a wonderful son and daughter - and each other - what more could we want?"

"It's not about any of that!" Amy cried, grasping the edge of the sink, "I hate my job - it was given to me out of pity and makes me miserable! Our apartment is getting too small for all of us, and our families insert themselves into every tiny aspect of our lives!" Turning to look at him through the sliver of light peeking from the window, "I love our kids, I do, and I love us... but we're on freaking autopilot, Ricky! We do the same thing every day, and just guide blindly around each other until we inevitably start to plummet down - and the only way to get off autopilot is to take control of the wheel before it crashes." She glanced down at the floor, "We don't have control - we're grasping at the wheel trying to gain it and trying not to crash in the process."