Lingering On The Unspoken

Unspoken words

Though you never reached the final chapter of my tale,
I will forever keep the corner of this page folded,
A poignant reminder of the unforgettable moments we shared.

I encountered you in an unexpected place, and you surprisingly made it easy for me to find you. Instead of greeting you with a hello, I posed a question. Initially, I was perplexed by the idea of answering my own question, but I learned to trust.

We began constructing a bond that fell somewhere between a close friendship and a romantic relationship, exchanging sweet messages that made me giggle. Our conversations often extended into the late hours of the night, specifically around midnight, which I kept hidden from my mother despite her suspicions.

I often re-read our lengthy conversations when I am bored and you are offline, and one sleepless night made me reflect on how our friendship has progressed. Although we have only just started talking, you have become an integral part of my daily routine. Your presence makes me look forward to checking my account every day. I am excited to see your messages, and because of you, I have become predictable and cliche.

That is weird!
I felt stupid myself!
I am not like that.
I am not used to that.
THAT IS NOT ME.
THAT IS THE "ME" YOU MADE ME INTO.

As our tale unfolded into its second chapter, the unspoken words 'I LIKE YOU' lingered in the air, though I am certain you were aware of the palpable tension between us. My deepest longing was to draw you close, to feel your lips against mine in a kiss that was as passionate as the ones I'd only ever fantasized about.

However, at some point, I began to feel disconnected from you, and you started to pull away without explanation, much like a bubble slips from a child's grasp and floats out of reach.

I began questioning myself as if I were a stranger, wondering which one of me was in the wrong.

Am I too fast to confess to him like that?
Am I not good enough to be with him?
Or did I expect something from him in return?

He frequently attempts to avoid conversations by claiming a busy schedule, but I am certain that his schedule cannot be so hectic as to occupy him for 24 hours straight.

Sigh! Later that night I ended up talking to myself. Answering the questions in my head. Until I produced one definite conclusion.
YOU, MR. CRICKETER, MADE ME FALL FOR YOU.
Yes, I fell for you.

I have started realizing that the initial gestures were a form of love-bombing, which I previously interpreted as your unique way of showing affection, even when my friends were skeptical. I had convinced myself we had a deep connection, and the absence of your texts would leave me feeling anxious, a sentiment intensified by my tendency to overthink, making it difficult for others to grasp the depth of my thoughts.

As I reflect on the silence that now separates us, my heart aches with a sense of betrayal, yearning for the days when his presence illuminated my life, transforming the ordinary into the extraordinary. Will I ever rediscover the profound connection we once shared, or am I forever left to cherish only the memories of our time together?

I am left shattered because he vanished without a word, a painful reminder of the fragility of online connections, and I regret not having the strength to end things from the very beginning, when all we shared was a simple hello.