queen of hearts | yellowjackets

precrash - three

a short while later lottie emerged from the locker rooms and made her way back out to the field with a skip in her step. madeline had returned to the bleachers and had been back to drawing again. she was so invested in the page she didn't notice the brunette approaching her until lottie's voice pulled her away from the page.

"what are you drawing?" she asked softly, "i didn't know you were the artsy type"

maddie turned her notepad around to the girl in front of her, displaying her new artwork - a messy yet impressive sketch of the girls playing soccer. 

"woah" lottie spoke softly, running her fingers over the page to feel the dents made by the pencil "this is like, insanely good maddie" madeline felt her cheeks heat up at the comment. "seriously, have you considered going into art properly?"

maddie shook her head. "no, i'm not good enough for that. it's not a big passion for me, it just helps me express myself, like a release, you know?"

lottie looked like she understood exactly what she said. "i do know. soccer is my release. i also just love to listen to music. i take my walkman everywhere, in fact.." she reached into her bag, pulling out her walkman which already had her headphones attached to it "there - see? always with me. and by the way, i think you're definitely good enough" she finished quietly, returning to the original topic of madeline's art. maddie blushed once again, nervously mumbling a small 'thank you'.

the two girls walked side by side to lottie's car, flowing in and out of conversations. it was comfortable, something that was new to both girls. 

the car ride was exactly the same. they'd only just properly met and talked for the first time, but for some reason it felt as if they'd never been apart. 

"you want some music on?" lottie asked as she pulled up at a red light, glancing at the girl next to her. 

"sure, you pick, you're the music master after all" maddie quipped, earning a laugh from the girl. it quickly became her favourite thing to do - making lottie laugh. maddie had often found peoples laughter annoying, shallow even, as if they were rubbing in the fact that they were happy, but when lottie laughed it was nothing like that. the laugh was in her eyes, in the way her face changed into that vision of relaxed joy and unrestrained mirth. yet truly, it wasn't in her face either. her laugh came from deep within, as if it was in the way she was wired. just being around the girl for a few minutes was better than a whole day of the countless therapies madeline had endured. just the sound of her snickers and her giggles was enough to transport maddie far far away from her worries and tensions. she didn't know how she'd gone this long without hearing it.

"open the glove box and pick the one called 'free'" lottie instructed and madeline did just that. she picked out the cassette before popping it into the tape deck. the first song began playing and lottie smiled instantly, drumming her fingers against the steering wheel. "i love this song"

"what is it?" maddie questioned with instant regret. lottie's head snapped to her in an instant.

"you don't know the cranberries?"

"i don't really listen to much music"

lottie returned her focus to the road, a small smile playing on her lips. "we'll have to fix that, taylor. can't have you being a musical amateur"

as the lyrics kicked in lottie began singing along softly, a sight that made madeline feel warm to her core. it was as if a surge of joy and admiration had completely taken over her body just from watching the girl enjoying a song. she could tell lottie could feel the music deep inside her.

"i like this one" maddie stated, knowing this song would forever remind her of how she felt in that very moment on the day she met lottie matthews. she had a feeling this day would become important. "what's it called?"

"dreams by the cranberries, i'm glad you like it"

a couple songs later and the girls had arrived at the dessert place. madeline followed the taller girl inside as she got them a table and took the liberty of ordering her usual chocolate sundae for both of them. 

the waitress returned a short while later, placing the two large sundaes in front of the two girls. lottie looked like a kid in a sweet shop. her smile was huge, maddie thought it was adorable. 

"you look very excited" madeline pointed out, "are they that good?"

lottie bit her lip, looking slightly embarrassed by maddie's comment. "sorry" she spoke with a slight laugh, "it's just been a while since i've been here with someone, i usually come alone. my dad used to bring me here when i was really young, when he actually took an active parenting role. now he's just, never around i guess"

maddie felt her heart ache for her, but also admired how open she was being, especially after knowing maddie for hours.

"i'm sorry, that was a bit of a mood killer.."

"no!" maddie interjected, "not at all. i know you've only just really met me, but i'm here to listen lottie. nothing you say to me could kill my mood, trust me. i've got enough childhood trauma tales to last a lifetime. you can talk to me about this stuff if you want to"

lottie smiled, a little sadly, yet still a smile. "thank you, maddie. i feel like, oddly comfortable around you. i think that's why it slipped out so easily. it's nothing major anyway, i just don't see my parents that often. they're always off doing their own things. i know what you probably think from what you've heard about me, that i'm some entitled rich girl?"

the blonde shook her head, reaching out her hand and putting it on top of lottie's almost instinctively. lottie looked down at their hands, yet didn't move a muscle. "i don't think that"

the brunette smiled. "i'm glad. i promise i'm not stuck up or anything. i hate that my family is wealthy. i'm obviously grateful, i could be in a lot worse of a situation, but i just feel like love is worth more than any money ever could be and i've never really had real love. my parents have been absent since i was really young. i'd say the maids know me better than my mom and dad do. i would give every penny to have a real relationship with them, you know?"

"i know exactly what you mean. i mean, my parents aren't exactly absent but boy it's not easy being jackie's sister. i've just always felt like i'm in her shadow. she's good at everything she does, she's popular, she's smart, she's captain of the soccer team. she's just more interesting i guess, but it sucks because people only really know me because of her, and people rarely try to get to know me as anything more than just jackie taylor's sister. i just want to be seen."

lottie leaned forward slightly, her brown eyes burning into madeline. "i see you, maddie"

madeline felt her heart skip a beat at lottie's words. all she'd ever wanted was for someone to be there. and now someone was. 

"here's your bill" the waitress spoke, pulling the girls out of their trance. maddie took her hand away from lottie's, missing the warmth instantly. she went to reach inside her bag for cash when lottie stopped her.

"don't, i'll pay. my dad has too much money for his own good, it'll go unnoticed" she commented with a smile, pulling out her dad's credit card and handing it to the waitress.

after another car ride full of lottie's mixtape and aimless conversations, they pulled up outside the taylors house. 

"thank you for today" lottie began, looking down at her lap, as if she was nervous to meet madeline's gaze. "seriously, it's been nice to have someone to hang out with"

"yeah" maddie agreed with a grin "it really has, we should do this more often"

lottie beamed at her. "you're on, taylor"