this chapter will have mentions of death of pets and family members self-inflicted harm
if any of these topics are triggering, this book might not be a good fit! I love you all and don't force yourself to read something you're uncomfortable with <3.
it's hard to forget your past when it's written all over your body
° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
No matter how hard you try, how much makeup you use, no amount of bandages can cover up what you do to yourself, you're just a worthless piece of scum on the bottom of someone's shoe that they wipe off when they realize it's there; you'll never be more than that.
All you do is lie to the people around you, I wonder why they even bother anymore. you never listen. "I'm getting better, I promise." A lie that always seemed to drop off her tongue like nothing. Whenever she tried to get better the blade, the lighter, the pin stared back at her.
Everything she tried every method that worked for other people never seemed to work for her. With every butterfly she drew on her wrist, every aggressive scribble on paper, every blade she threw away she figured it was better to hurt herself than hurt other people.
When someone tried to get her to open up she pushed them away drowning in a sinking feeling of loneliness that she couldn't blame anybody else for.
You only live once and this is how you chose to live your life? The nights Akira spent hunched over the sink blood dripping from her arms that sentence replayed over in her head. Every tear that fell from her eye was followed by another.
Staring at the mess before her she looked at the mirror analyzing her tear-ridden face. Akira backed away from the counter and crouched down to the height of the bathroom cabinet taking out the bandages that were kept there. She took note of the dwindling supply as she slowly wrapped them around her arms.
Akira has dealt with death from a young age. Her mother died due to complications of birth. When Akira was old enough to understand she couldn't help but blame herself. Her thought process was always if she were never here her mother would be. The nights she spent in her room drowning in an indescribable emptiness. Akira feared about worrying the only other person in the house.
Her father.
Her father tried his best to never leave Akira alone and talk to her as much as possible but being a hero that was nearly impossible. His biggest goal in life is to keep his daughter smiling. Even when she's going through her toughest times. Thinking of the scars that adorned her body he couldn't help but ponder about why she would do that to herself.
He never told her why he hangs around in her room when he's home. He never told her why whenever he went into her bathroom it sounded like he was rummaging through her drawers. He never told her why he called her as much as possible. He never let her know how worried he was for her.
He felt lousy father. He couldn't do the one thin The vowed to do. He always assumed that he would keep her safe from villains, not herself.
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a/n : i apologize for the long wait for such a short chapter. i'm trying my best. i have been out of town 3 times since i started this chapter, school started, hoe i might have COVID.. so cut me a little slack. mama a girl behind YOU 💜 also i just slammed back two cheese sticks.
