Sonkan 2 (The Revolution)

Chapter 4

-Alexi-

ILANG minuto namayani ang katahimikan sa aming dalawa. No one dares to speak. We're just walking slowly as if we're walking on the moon. This is not the first time I walked with him through the night. I don't know what he was thinking. He's just quiet and syncing his footstep with mine. I gave him a sideward glance, whenever I look at him, una talagang nakakatawag ng pansin ang tattoo nito sa leeg. Mukhang naramdaman niyang nakatingin ako sa kanya kaya lumingon ito sa akin. He gaze down a bit because of our height difference. Umangat ang isang gilid ng labi nito.

"Are you admiring how handsome I am?"

I spit a soft laugh and turned my look at the way. Hindi ko nalang pinansin ang pagkamahangin nito. "I was looking at your tattoo. That's painful, right? I wonder why you guys love pain"

"We don't" mahina nitong sagot. Binalik na din nito ang tingin sa daan. "Sometimes it's our way to express our pain in the inside to the outside"

I simply nodded. Out of words. Some people say it's art, some would say it's their expression and some turned their emotional pain to physical pain. Iba iba't talaga ang perception ng mga tao pagdating sa tattoo.

"You don't like people with tattoo?" bigla nitong tanong.

I shook my head. "It's not that I don't like them, but I think we, people, have no right to paint our body since it's not ours. Like we're not the ones who created it"

"I see"

Hindi ko alam kung gaano kahaba ang daan na ito ngunit nagpatuloy lang kami sa paglalakad.

"Bakit mo nga pala ako sinundan?" I asked him out of nowhere as I glanced at him.

He tucked both his hands into his pocket. "I once told you, you're easy to die. Until now, you really are"

"Why so harsh to me?" I unconsciously asked. It's just slipped through my mouth.

Hindi ito sumagot. I don't know him that much, but one thing I observe is sometimes he just chooses the words he's going to say or stops himself from saying them. Or maybe he's avoiding the question.

"I thought you're mad at me" muli kong sambit. "If you are, I'm sorry. I must have crossed the line"

I realized that I shouldn't asked him that. I saw a glimpse of his pain during purging days. He was sabotaged by Ardizonne's group and had to see his troupes to die in front of him. I feel guilty because I was being careless. Alam kong may sugat akong nabuksan na pilit niyang tinatakpan. They both hated each other to death. Not only Ardizonne. Iyon din ang bumabagabag sa aking damdamin nitong mga nakaraang araw. I'm glad I finally say sorry to him.

"I'm not requiring you to say sorry. I also feel the same way about Trevor. I wanted to kill him and make him experience a painful death"

"People can say sorry to the person they feel sorry to without requiring them to say so" I reasoned out. "I said that because I feel sorry. I really do"

I stopped walking and faced him. Looking at him straight in the eye. Huminto din ito sa paglalakad at sinalubong ang tingin ko. Lumapit ito ng isang hakbang at napakurap ako dahil sa distansya namin sa isa't isa. I tried to step back but he slowly shook his head.

"Don't step back"

I pursed my lips looking awkwardly at him. "D-do you accept my apology?"

"When you say sorry to someone, do you oblige them to accept your apology?"

I looked down, my eyes flinching in any direction. This is so awkward. "Uh, no. I'm sorry"

Naramdaman kong hinawakan nito ang baba ko para paangatin ang tingin ko sa kanya. He smiled. His lips were stretched into a thin line, smiling that reached his eyes. I don't know if this is the first time I see him smiling like that but I know it was real. And it's seldom to happen. So rare. I hope there's a camera that can capture those smiles.