Night Dancer

Seventeen

"Alyssa you're late," Nick said, shortly as she walked in. Ducking her head she apologised quietly and hurried to the back. Dido and Michelle were standing talking when she appeared but both paused when she came in, exchanging looks. Alyssa's face, even under her makeup was white as a sheet and her eyes were heavily shadowed. She looked gaunt too, her cheekbones more prominent than usual and her cheerleader's uniform hanging off of her tiny frame. Dido nodded grimly at Michelle from behind Alyssa's back and crossed the room to her young friend.

"Sit down, let me do your makeup," she said.

"I'll fix you a strong coffee," Michelle said, disappearing to Nick's office to find coffee and adding a few biscuits for good measure as she was sure they wouldn't hurt any. When she got back Alyssa was looking a little more human thanks to Dido's prowess with the makeup brush but her eyes had a dead look to them which didn't even improve much at the sight of the biscuits though she took them willingly enough and nibbled at them, savouring each bite. Michelle watched her for a moment and then gave Dido a pointed look before she moved away to give the two of them some space to talk.

"Tell me what has happened Lys," said Dido, quietly. Alyssa was silent for a moment and Dido thought she might not answer but then she began to speak in a soft, broken voice.

"Mama is real sick, not like usual, a whole lot worse. She's having tests done, but... I'm scared even if they diagnose something treatment will cost and I'm not sure we can afford it. And even if we could... I... I don't think she'll live long enough to see it through and I'm scared, Dido. I'm real scared of losing her and I'm scared of how little money we have left. The kids are struggling too. Mattie just cries all the time, says he don't like rice anymore and it's all I can afford to cook. And he's stubborn, won't eat anything and I'm worried he'll get sick. Josh is real quiet too; he's stopped going out even if I'm home unless it's for school or his job at the pool because he don't want to leave Mama alone or me I guess. And Maeva... God Maeva! She's so damn perceptive, knows exactly what's going on and she keeps asking me to call Bret and I can't call him because... because I pushed him away and I need him. I need him so bad... Shit I'm a damn mess Dido and I don't know what to do."

Dido heard her out, heard the desperation in her voice, knew she was desperate because she had revealed more in a few sentences than she had in all the months she had known her. Carefully she crouched down in front of her so that she could meet her gaze.

"First off, you are not alone and you are not a mess. You have taken on more than any other girl I know. At times like this you have to decide I suppose what is important, what you need most in your life and at the moment that is to look after your family and make sure you have enough money coming in to do that. Children are fussy when it comes to food, but stubbornness can only last so long. My mom had a good trick when my younger brother decided he didn't like rice any more. She used food colouring, told him it was magic rice and it worked a treat."

"Really?" Alyssa gave her a hopeful look and Dido nodded, smiling.

"Yes, she was a miracle worker my mom. As for Josh, a little time with his family won't hurt him, but you will hurt him if you don't accept his support right now when you clearly need it. Me and Michelle can see you need help and we only see you here. He knows how much you are doing and he is a good boy. Is he still seeing Lucy Rivers?"

"Yes he is," Alyssa replied, smiling as she thought of her brother's calm and efficient girlfriend and Dido nodded, approvingly.

"Her grandfather was my pastor growing up and he was a good man. They are a good family and she will give him all the love he needs; she won't walk away from him because the going is tough right now. She is older than her years that girl. And perhaps Maeva is right about Bret. It is only your stubborn pride stopping you from calling a man who so clearly loves you."