𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐀

36: Losing time

alright guys since I was sick for a week and went off the face of the earth for like 15 days I've decided to give you all another chapter to say sorry 😞

I hope you all enjoy!!

song: 'Six Feet Under' by Billie Eilish

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We sat in the back of the limo, the leather seats cool against my skin, the tinted windows reflecting a dark, distorted version of the daylight outside. My brothers were all quiet, their eyes fixed on the passing blur of buildings or on their phones, each lost in their own thoughts.

It was already 1:20, and I decided I couldn't wait until after my shift to see what my surprise was.

Well, Azalea and Luca decided that I couldn't wait, and each pushed me into the limo before I had the chance to walk across the road.

Azalea and Luca had sat beside me, with Azalea scrolling on her instagram as she went through her drafts, her fingers flying over the screen. Sensing my attention towards her screen she looks up, her eyebrow raising as she turns the screen away from me.

I couldn't take the silence any longer. The thoughts swirling in my head were too loud, too insistent.

"So... when's the next mission?" I blurted out, my voice cutting through the heavy quiet like a knife. Even though I have only had one or two training sessions, I was still eager to try to accompany them on their next mission.

My brothers turned toward me in unison, their expressions ranging from surprise to mild annoyance. They'd told me before not to speak about work during family time, but these were the only times we were all together, with Dad and Matteo not at work, and Enzo not disappearing for what could be days.

Matteo raises an eyebrow at me. His warm gaze now turning calculated as his eyes seemed to probe my thoughts, trying to figure out what I was really after. "Why do you ask, Angel?"

I met his gaze as I smile. "Because I want in," I said, my voice steady. "I know I've only had a couple of trainings, but I know I can help. You all know it too."

A tense silence followed my words. My brothers exchanged glances, a silent conversation passing between them that I was once again excluded from. It was infuriating. I had trained just as hard as they had, learned everything they did, and yet, I was always left behind when it came to the real missions.

"Angelo, it's not that simple," Ale says, his tone careful, as if he was trying not to set me off. "These missions...they're dangerous. We're not playing games here and we don't want you to get hurt again."

I rolled my eyes, frustration bubbling to the surface. "I know exactly how dangerous they are, Ale. You all keep acting like I'm fragile, like I can't handle myself, but I've been training just as hard as any of you. I'm ready, I know I am."

"Are you?" Marco leaned forward, his voice laced with concern. "Angel, this life... it changes you. You can't unsee the things we see, can't undo the things we do. Once you're in, you're in for life. Are you really ready for that?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation. "I am ready. You know I've seen horrible things before, and yet I'm perfectly capable of handling myself. I need to be part of this family—really part of it. And that means being involved in everything, not just the safe parts you let me see."

Azalea squeezed my hand, but I barely noticed. My focus was entirely on my brothers. I could see the conflict in their eyes, the reality that I was no longer the three year old little girl they needed to shield from the world.