chapter 20

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Thelani

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I felt so alone. The room was too quiet, too cold, and the reality of what had just happened started to settle in. I tried to push the thoughts away, but they kept coming back, hitting me like waves, one after another.

I needed someone, anyone, to tell me this was just a nightmare. But the one person who came to mind was Mbali, and the thought of calling her terrified me. I had bailed on her earlier, and I knew she'd be furious. She always had a temper when it came to being let down.

But I had no one else, and the pain was too much to bear alone. So, I took a deep breath and made the call, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Hello?" Mbali's voice came through, sharp and irritated.

That was all it took. The moment I heard her voice, the dam broke, and I started sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Aibo, Thelani! What happened? Are you okay?" Mbali's tone shifted instantly from anger to panic.

"I... I..." My voice cracked, and the words wouldn't come. I felt like I was drowning, unable to catch my breath. "Mbali, I need you..."

"What happened? Where are you? Send me your location on WhatsApp. I'll get an Uber, but please, I don't have money for it."

"Okay..." I whispered, wiping my eyes enough to see my phone. My hands were shaking as I sent her my location, feeling a tiny bit of relief knowing she was coming. But the relief was fleeting.

Just as I put the phone down, a notification flashed on my screen. Lucas. He'd sent me R70,000.

I stared at the amount, feeling absolutely nothing. No anger, no gratitude, not even shock. Just... numb. It was like the money didn't even register in my mind as real. It was just numbers on a screen, meaningless in the face of what I'd just gone through.

What was he trying to do? Make it all better with money? Wipe away what he'd done with a few zeros? I couldn't process it. I didn't want to. All I wanted was for Mbali to get here, to tell me I wasn't losing my mind, that I hadn't just made the biggest mistake of my life.

But even as I waited, I knew that nothing would ever be the same. The numbness spread through me, creeping into every part of me, until I felt like I was disappearing into it. All I could do was sit there, staring at that message, feeling like a part of me had just been erased.

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As I waited for Mbali, the silence in the apartment became unbearable. His scent lingered on my skin, a constant reminder of what had happened, and I felt a desperate need to get it off me. I forced myself to stand, every movement heavy with exhaustion, and made my way to the bathroom.

The water was scalding hot, but I didn't care. I scrubbed my skin until it was red, trying to erase the feeling of him, the touch that had once felt comforting but now only brought pain. I stayed under the water longer than I needed, hoping the steam would somehow wash away the memory. But it clung to me like a shadow, impossible to shake.

Eventually, I turned off the water, wrapped myself in a towel, and stepped out. I didn't feel clean, not really, but I had to move. I had to get back to reality. I slipped into my gown, the soft fabric a small comfort, and made my way to the bed, curling up on top of the covers. I stared blankly at the wall, my mind replaying everything over and over, like a broken record.

A knock on the door broke through my thoughts, and I felt a mix of relief and dread. Mbali was here. I needed her, but I also didn't know how to face her, how to explain everything that had happened.

I forced myself to stand, every step toward the door feeling like I was wading through thick mud. My hand trembled as I reached for the handle, but I managed to open it.

Mbali didn't say a word at first. She just pulled me into a hug, wrapping her arms around me as if she could hold me together. I hadn't realized how much I needed that until I felt her warmth against me, and for a moment, I let myself lean into her, holding on as if I might fall apart if I let go.

"What happe-" She began to ask, but then she stopped, her eyes widening as she took in the apartment. She pulled away from me, looking around in disbelief. "Whose place is this, Thelani? Wow, it's so beautiful!"

She walked further into the living room, her eyes wide with amazement. I could see the confusion on her face, mixed with awe. This wasn't what she expected, not from me, not from the person who had just called her in tears.

"Mbali..." I called out softly, trying to bring her back to the moment, back to what mattered.

"Thelani, what's going on?" she finally asked, turning to face me, concern overtaking her earlier excitement. "This place... how...?"

I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of what I was about to say. How could I even begin to explain? But I had to. She was here, and I needed to tell someone, to make sense of it all.

"It's a long story, Mbali," I started, my voice shaky. "It all began when I met Lucas..."

I saw the recognition in her eyes the moment I said his name. "Lucas? The blesser? The one you told me about back in varsity?"

I nodded, feeling a lump in my throat. "Yes, that's him. I... I didn't know what I was getting into. It started out innocent enough, or at least I thought it was. He was charming, older, and I was naive. He offered me things I couldn't resist-new experiences, gifts, this apartment..."

I paused, trying to find the right words to explain the mess I'd gotten myself into. Mbali watched me intently, her expression unreadable.

"At first, it was just dinners, conversations, nothing too serious. But then things started to change. He became more demanding, more... possessive. I should've seen the signs, but I didn't. I was blinded by the lifestyle he offered, by the attention he gave me."

"And today?" Mbali asked gently, sitting down on the couch, signaling for me to continue.

"Today..." I hesitated, the memory of what had just happened still too raw, too painful. "He came over, like he usually does. But this time, something was different. He wasn't listening to me, Mbali. I tried to stop him, but he just... he just didn't care. And then, before I knew it, he..."

I couldn't say the words out loud, but the tears that filled my eyes must have told Mbali everything she needed to know.

"Oh, Thelani..." she whispered, her voice full of sympathy. She got up and moved closer to me, taking my hands in hers. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea..."

"Neither did I," I admitted, wiping away a tear. "I thought I could handle it, that I was in control. But today... he took that away from me. And after it happened, he just left, like it was nothing. He even sent me money afterward-R70,000. Like that could make it all better."

I could see the anger and sadness in Mbali's eyes as she processed everything I'd told her. "He sent you money? Like... what, as if that's supposed to make up for what he did?"

"Exactly," I said bitterly. "And now I don't know what to do. I feel so lost, Mbali. I don't even recognize myself anymore."

She pulled me into another hug, holding me tightly. "You don't have to go through this alone, Thelani. I'm here for you. We'll figure this out together."

For the first time that night, I felt a small sense of relief. I wasn't alone. Mbali was here, and even though I didn't know what was going to happen next, I knew I could face it with her by my side.

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