Secrets of the Heart - ShikaNaru

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"What the hell do you seek, Shikamaru?" Naruto let out with a hiccup, voice laced with stingy alcohol. He fiddled with his glass as he leaned against the table, arms crossed. Still, he gave a bright smile that illuminated the dull bar. It was enough to oversee the drowsiness in every word he spoke, despite being the Hokage.

Shikamaru was perturbed with the sudden question that even he, wondered about. The ice in his glass clinked as he reached for another shot of hard, cold whisky. It was all he needed the night he had overflowed with a cascade of uncertainty. 

And yet, Naruto's serene blue eyes lit with a fiery obstinacy; unwavering and bubbling with curiosity. They were addicting, Shikamaru had thought as he locked his gaze with Naruto. They were idle in motion and every blink contained a calm sweetness. He couldn't desist. And for that, he hated himself.

As he stared into Naruto's valiant glare, Shikamaru felt a familiar tug in his chest, a sensation he couldn't quite shake. Naruto had always been more than just a friend—he was a beacon of light in Shikamaru's shadowed world. Where Shikamaru saw complexity and burden, Naruto saw simplicity and hope. It was maddening and comforting all at once, as if Naruto's very existence reminded him of something he could never quite grasp, something vital that was missing from his life.

And that was what terrified him the most. It wasn't just that Naruto was his Hokage or that they had fought side by side through countless battles—it was the way Naruto's presence filled a void Shikamaru hadn't even realized was there. A void that not even Temari, with all her strength and sharp wit, could fill.

But admitting that, even to himself, felt like a betrayal. A betrayal of his marriage, of his duty, and of the very identity he'd constructed to keep the chaos of his emotions at bay.

"I..." He didn't know how to respond to such a swooning question.

Fuck, it must be the alcohol.. Shikamaru released a deep sigh, downing the last drop that seemed too little to be filling. 

"Yeah?" The blond was as tentative as ever, his voice laden with a perilous substance. One that made his gaze fill with intense perplexity and straddled the other. Nothing could have prepared Shikamaru for Naruto's coaxing voice. It was precarious yet bewitching with daze. He opened his mouth to speak, just to close it with nothing to say.

For once, he didn't have a response. He struggled with empty words.

"..I don't know," He uttered as his keen eyes averted towards the empty glass that wouldn't save him from this delirium.

"Is that so?" Naruto kept his gaze fixed onto Shikamaru, whose eyes narrowed. Although drunk, Naruto could instinctively tell that his advisor was troubled with a clutter of unorganized thoughts. To him, it was funny, how the serious, unprovoked man Shikamaru was, had his expression painted with such uncertainty. 

He couldn't help but let out a melodious laugh, like a smooth pebble skipping across a pond. 

And to Shikamaru, that was all he strangely needed to return his gaze back to Naruto, as if drawn by a magnet. In the heat of the moment, Shikamaru became aware, of his complicit attraction towards the boy sitting across him on the poseur table. It troubled him even more than ever. How could he? He had a wife, and yet he couldn't admit he was satisfied to Naruto.

It felt like a crime, and so he clenched his jaw out of guilty anguish; his remorse almost palpable.

"Hey," He blurted out, only to find the convivial blond fast asleep, swooned by exhaustion from his duties as the Hokage.

Are you kidding me?