bound by chaos

7. Brandon

My eyes feel heavy.

I try to open them but it is like someone has glued them shut. Awareness returns to me painfully slow. The pain hits me first-an aching, deep throbbing in my shoulder, a sting on my neck.

Where am I?

I force my eyes open, blinking against the blinding white light overhead. Everything is too bright, too harsh. It takes a moment for my vision to adjust, for the blurs and shapes to settle into something recognizable. I'm in a bed-a hospital bed, I realize as the sterile smell of antiseptic reaches my nose. The sound of beeping machines surrounds me, the steady rhythm of a heart monitor echoing in the room.

My heart.

Nikolai.

Panic surges through me, my pulse spiking as I struggle to sit up. The pain in my shoulder flares, sharp and unforgiving, but I grit my teeth against it. I was captured and rugged and I had heard Niko's voice and then had fallen unconscious on him-

But as I try to move, a firm hand presses against my chest, holding me down gently but insistently. "Lotus flower?" a familiar voice says, soothing and strong. "Oh thank, fuck. Fuck, you are fine."

Nikolai.

My entire body relaxes at the sound of his voice, every tense fibre just melting away. My throat feels scratchy when I try to speak, but I manage to croak out his name. "Nikolai..." The word is more a breath than a sound, but it's enough. I feel his hand tighten slightly against my chest, and finally, the haze around my eyes starts to fade away.

The first thing I see is the silhouette of Nikolai hovering above me. I blink again, fighting through the disorientation, trying to focus on his face. When my vision finally clears, I see him-this beautiful man that had barged into my life and dug a place for himself. His beautiful eyes locked onto mine, his expression so raw and filled with pain that I've never seen before.

The room is quiet except for the soft beeping of the machines and the faint hum of the fluorescent lights. But all I can focus on is Nikolai, the warmth of his hand, the steady presence that anchors me amidst it all.

"Yes, baby," he murmurs, his voice a low rumble that vibrates through me, grounding me. "Oh I can't fucking..." Nikolai's voice cracks, something I've never heard before. The raw vulnerability in his tone sends a shiver down my spine, breaking every pain in my body.

His usual ironclad demeanor is shattered, replaced with this man full of anguish that he can't seem to hide. "I thought I'd lost you," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "I thought I had fucking lost you, baby. You complete me. You're fucking in me. And when I didn't find you in the penthouse, I lost my shit. Even went to fucking Landon to find you. I thought-if I ww were even a minute late-"

I reach up, my hand trembling as I touch his face, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath my fingertips. "Niko..." I whisper, my voice still hoarse, but there's a need to comfort him, to reassure him that I'm here, that I'm alive.

He leans into my touch, closing his eyes for a moment as if he's savoring the contact, grounding himself in the reality of me being here. When he opens his eyes again, they're filled with a fierce determination that makes my heart ache. "From now one, you are not allowed to leave my sight, Lotus flower. Do you understand that?" he asks, his voice low and dangerous. "You are stuck with me now, baby. I'm never letting you go"

I can see the fury simmering beneath the surface, barely held in check, and for a moment, I worry about what he might do. But I know better than to try to calm him down now. Instead, I squeeze his hand, trying to pull him back to me. Resting my hand on his, I bring it to my chest, right over where my heart lies. "I'm here," I say, trying to soothe him with my words. "We're together now, and that's all that matters."