Riwoo had always been one of the quiet members in BOYNEXTDOOR. He was the kind of persone who would rather listen than speak, the kind who noticed the small things others missed. To the outside world, he was one of the best dancers in BOYNEXTDOOR, the one with the soft smile that made fans hearts flutter, the one that dances where do sharp he could cut everything in one slice. But inside, Riwoo was different. He carried a weight that no one else could see.
It started not long after their debut. The pressure was intense, even more than Rieoo had expected. They were a new group, and they had to prove themselves. Every day was filled with practice, interviews, and performances. There was always something to do, always someone watching. Riwoo loved performing, but it was exhausting trying to keep up with everything.
The other members seemed to handle it well. Sungho was always full of energy, cracking jokes and keeping everyone's spirits up. Jaehyun was focused and driven, always working on something. Leehan, Teasan, and Woohak were supportive, each bringing their own strengths to the group. They all had their moments of stress, of course, but none of them seemed to struggle the way Riwoo did.
At first, Riwoo tried to ignore the growing sense of anxiety. He told himself it was normal, that everyone felt this way sometimes. But the feeling didn't go away. It was like a knot in his chest that tightened with new responsibility, every new expectation. He started to feel like he was drowning in it but he didn't know how to ask for help.
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One night, after another long day of practice, Riwoo lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. The dorm was quiet, the other members already asleep. But Riwoo couldn't sleep. His mind was racing with thoughts of everything that could go wrong, of every mistake he might make. He felt like he was falling apart, but he couldn't let anyone know.
They're counting on me, he thought. I can't let them down.
But the more he tried to push the feeling away, the stronger they became. He started having trouble sleeping, lying awake for hours as the worries circled in his mind. During the day, he found it harder to focus. He was always tired, always on edge. He felt like he was walking on a tightrope, trying to keep his balance while everything around him was shaking.
The others noticed that something was off. "You okay, Riwoo?" Jeahyun asked one morning as they were getting ready for practice.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Riwoo replied quickly, forcing a smile.
"You've seemed a bit out of it lately," Leehan added, looking concerned. "If something's bothering you, you can talk to us."
Riwoo shook his head. "I'm just tired, that's all. I'll be fine."
But he wasn't fine. The pressure kept building, and Riwoo felt like he was running out of ways to cope. He tried to keep up with the others during practice, but his energy was draining faster then he could recharge it. Everytime he made a mistake, every time someone corrected him, it felt like another weight was added to the burden he was carrying.
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One day, during dance practice, Riwoo felt himself reaching his limit. They were working on a particularly difficult routine, and Riwoo was struggling to keep up. His body was exhausted, his mind foggy from lack of sleep. He missed a step, then another, his movements becoming sloppy.
"Riwoo, are you okay?" Sungho asked, noticing the way Riwoo was lagging behind.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Riwoo muttered, trying to shake off the dizziness that was creeping in.
But as the practice went on, it became clear that Riwoo was anything but fine. He stumbled again, nearly falling, and had to catch himself on the wall.
"Riwoo, take a break," their dance instructor said, her voice firm. "You're pushing yourself too hard."
Riwoo nodded, grateful for the excuse to sit down. He lowered himself onto the floor, his heart racing, his breathing shallow. He felt like he was going to pass out, but he forced himself to stay awake.
"What's going on with you?" Jaehyun asked, sitting down next to him. "You've been really off lately."
"I'm just tired,"Riwoo replied, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to mess things up."
"You're not messing anything up," Jeahyun said, his tone gentle. "But you need to take care of yourself. If something's wrong, you can't just keep it to yourself."
Riwoo wanted to tell him, wanted to let out everything he had been holding inside. But the words wouldn't come. He didn't know how to explain the fear, the pressure, the feeling that he was sinking deeper and deeper into a hole he couldn't climb out of. So instead, he just nodded, forcing another smile.
"I'll be fine," he said again, even though he didn't believe it.
The days blurred together as Riwoo kept trying to push through the pain and exhaustion. He didn't want to be a burden to the group, so he kept everything to himself, pretending that everything was okay. But the truth was, he was falling apart.
Author Note:
I'll end it here cause I'm tired I will do a chapter two just don't know when.
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Shattered Silence
FanfictionStarted: 17.07.2024 Ended: 21.07.2024 (Photos are not mine) Riwoo collapses from exhaustion and is hospitalized. His members support him and vow to be more open and caring. ❗️Disclaimer❗️ The author is autistic and is bad at expressing. And members...