No Longer Mine (Gojo)

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A/N: So, basically this is about Gojo's s/o "dying" and he eventually moves on with his life, and then it turns out his s/o wasn't dead after all. It's basically all angst tbh. I might eventually do more parts to this, but we'll see

He wasn't there. He wasn't there when you needed him most, and now you were gone. You were burnt beyond recognition. If he didn't know it was your body on the floor, he wouldn't have even known there had been a human there once. There were still traces of your cursed energy around, even if they were faint. You must have tried to resist whoever had done this. Of course you would have, you wouldn't have gone down without a fight. He made Shoko check the DNA results a dozen times, but it was always the same result. It had been your body that was found in the house you shared with him. You were gone, and so was your shared home. Burned to the ground by god knows who, with you inside it.

Gojo didn't really accept you being gone for a long time. He was so numb, and your death almost killed him. All those lonely nights with just him and a bottle of strong liquor, talking to you. Talking to an empty room, while downing so much liquor that it would have put a normal person in the hospital. He talked about how angry he was, angry towards himself for not having caught whoever had taken you from him, angry at you for leaving him, angry at the world for all of it. One night, you started talking back to him. You told him how it wasn't his fault and that you loved him. That's when he knew he was in trouble. The dead don't speak, they don't converse with anyone, that's not how the world works.

That was about a year after you died. He stopped drinking, and your ghost started fading away. Your voice got more distant and the image of you got muddier. He didn't want to lose you again. He didn't want to forget, but somehow remembering was worse. Even though it was muddy, he could still see your smile. Oh, how he loved that smile.

Eventually, he found someone new. He fell in love again, but you never left him completely. The memories he shared with you were still dear to him, even if they were painful. He visited your grave every year on the anniversary of your death. He left flowers on your grave and while he wasn't a religious man, he prayed that wherever you were, you had found peace.

Four years later, you reappeared. You were found unconscious on some side street in Tokyo and taken to the hospital. After you woke up, the first call you made was to Gojo.

"Hi, I'm sorry I missed dinner last night. I'm in the hospital, but I don't know what happened"

"Whoever you are, this isn't funny" a cold voice answered back.

"What do you mean Toru? It's me, it's (Name)"

"Don't call this number again" Gojo said and hung up.

You were confused to say the least. You'd missed dinner, sure, but there was no way he would act that coldly towards you just because of that. Then you noticed the date on your hospital band. It was four years more than it should've been. That must have been a mistake, right? You started to panic, your heart rate was getting erratic and you were having trouble breathing. A nurse came in, trying to calm you down.

"What's the date today? Please, what is it?" you asked frantically.

"It's 17th of August 2016"

"2016?!" you gasped.

Who could be so cruel as to make a call like that to him? Sure, he had made many enemies in his life, but most of them were dead and wouldn't be the type to pull such an egregious prank on him anyway. It couldn't be you, it couldn't possibly be you. He had confirmed your death himself. More importantly, Shoko had confirmed it, multiple times. It had been your cursed energy, your DNA. There was no doubt about it.

"Who was that?" his fiancée asked as he had put down the phone.

"Just a wrong number" Gojo muttered.

"You seem a bit rattled, are you sure you're okay?" she asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, it was nothing" Gojo said, brushing off his fiancée.

The call kept bothering him. Gojo couldn't sleep that night and just laid in bed, awake, while his lover laid beside him, sleeping like a log. The thought of you being alive kept him awake all night. Could it really be possible? Had Shoko been wrong? Had he been wrong? He couldn't get that little voice out of his head. That little nagging voice in the back of his head, telling him he needed to go to that hospital, he needed to make sure. Early the next morning, he made his way to the hospital.

You had been given some sedatives, because of how badly you had panicked when you found out what year it was. You'd been gone for four years, and you didn't remember a single thing about it. When you woke up, you were groggy, and you weren't really feeling great. You were still in shock about the missing four years.

"You were dead" a familiar voice said from the end of your bed.

"Toru?" you asked, blinking a bit to focus your vision better.

"You were dead" he repeated, but this time his voice wavered.

"What are you talking about?" you questioned.

"There was a body, in the rubble of our burned down house..."

"What...?" you whispered.

Gojo was still standing by the end of your bed. You were really there, clear as day. He was afraid that if he touched you, this would all turn out to be some kind of illusion. Still, he couldn't help himself as he moved closer to you and reached his hand out to touch your cheek. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. He was too afraid, so he just held his hand next to your face, scared that you would disappear at any moment.

"Toru?" you asked, tears welling up in your eyes. "What happened?"

"You died (Name)... or at least we thought you did. It's been four years since then" Gojo wasn't sure if he should tell you about his engagement, but he wanted to be honest with you, like you'd been with each other before. "I moved on. I had to, losing you almost killed me"

Gojo's hand fell back to his side and he hung his head. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. He was just so confused.

It was heartbreaking to hear the pain in his voice, but you still felt angry. Even though you rationally knew it had been years for him, for you that missed dinner was yesterday. For you, he had found someone else overnight. Your love for him was just as strong as it had ever been, but he clearly didn't feel the same anymore.

"I don't have any memory of the past four years. Did you know that? To me, I last saw you yesterday, and now you're saying you found someone else?"

"I-"

"You don't need to explain. I get it, but I would have waited. I wouldn't have given up on you" you said tearfully, looking away from him.

"I did look for you (Name). Your death almost killed me, Ava saved me after I hit rock bottom"

"That's her name? Ava?" you asked, the sadness evident in your voice.

"Yes... we're engaged"

"Oh"

It felt like someone punched you in the stomach. You felt sick, empty. He was engaged? The love of your life had moved on with someone else. He'd left you behind, a long time ago, apparently.

"I think you should leave" you sniffled, wiping the tears from your cheeks, trying to appear strong. Even though you felt everything but.

"I don't-" Gojo started, but stopped himself. You probably didn't want to know. "Of course, whatever you want" he sighed and turned to leave.

As Gojo left the room, he gave you one more glance. You looked broken, and he was certain it was his fault. Why hadn't he kept looking? Why had he given up on you? No matter what anyone had told you, you would have kept going. You wouldn't have given up until you found him. So why did he?

The second Gojo left the room and closed the door, you broke down. You were sobbing, burying your face into a pillow to stop anyone from hearing your cries. The person you loved since you were kids at Jujutsu High, the one you'd given your heart, soul and body to, had left you behind. You had nothing to go back to. You'd been robbed of four years of your life, and now it felt like your future was gone too. It all just felt like a massive lie, like someone was having fun at your expense. Your old life was gone.


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