BREAK POINT - chris sturniolo

CHAPTER 8

MARCH, SOPHMORE YEAR

"Sarah Grace?" I knock on the bedroom door across from mine, trying to stifle my sobs. 

My phone was in hand, evidence of the horrible things my mom was writing to me in her drunken state. 

I knock again, begging god for an answer. I don't know how much longer I can be alone with myself and these texts right now. 

To my relief, the bedroom door swings open, although instead of my bright eyed, freckled face friend, there stood her boyfriend. I didn't even know he was over tonight. 

"Oh, sorry." I stealthy try to wipe away my tears. "Where's Sarah Grace?"

"She said her friend downstairs needed her help picking out an outfit. She's been gone for like 20 minutes so I'm sure she'll be back soon." Chris explained. I found this odd, seeing that her only other friend in the building is a guy she met on a dating app in the beginning of last year. 

"Oh, alright thanks." I say, turning away quickly, hoping to obscure my surely puffy face. 

"What did you need?" He asks after a moment of contemplation. 

"Um," I sniffle, not sure what excuse I should throw at him. "I just had a question about a match later this week." I shake my head and wave it off with my back still to him. 

"And that's what's making you cry?" He asks, and I freeze in my spot. "You don't have to pretend with me." He said, speaking softer than before. 

In my head, Chris has existed in this limbo between crush and best friend's boyfriend. I knew he was funny and outgoing. He was chiseled and dressed well and had great music taste. He was a thoughtful brother and a good person. He had all the makings of my dream man. And I knew from the way I saw him act around Sarah Grace that he was a thoughtful and attentive boyfriend. Despite all that, I didn't know anything about him as friend, and this was intentional. For Sarah Grace's sake I had kept my distance. 

In my desperate state, however, I broke down the wall I'd been trying to hard to build. 

When I turned and saw his gentle expression, the tears began flowing. He opened the door to Sarah Grace's room and invited me to sit down. The curtains were drawn, LED lights gave the room a blue hue, and some movie I didn't recognize played on the TV.

For 15 minutes straight I unloaded everything that was going on with my mother, something I don't do often out of embarrassment of her behavior. For every single minute, he sat, listened intently, and rubbed my back when I started to cry. 

He was clearly at a loss for words. We both knew there was nothing he could say to make my situation better. I admitted that his presence was comfort enough and he brought me into a tight hug. I barely hugged back, fearing that it may feed the spark even more, but I melted under his touch regardless.

"I owe you big time." I mutter into his shirt, feeling shameful. 

"You don't owe me anything. This is what friends are for." He says assuredly. 

Friends. I was scared of this, but faced with it in the moment, it didn't really feel like I was betraying Sarah Grace. After tonight, Chris truly was a friend. I feel a small pang of hope, picturing the new way he would fit into my life.