City of Desire

Part 7 - Distracted and infatuated

I don't consider myself a good person because I have already abandoned my purity, so I don't feel any inner condemnation—I am at ease and untroubled. Especially when it comes to issues with women, I don't even think I am good at connecting with a girl on a deeper level; I am accustomed to using flattery. So, I always believed I hadn't fallen in love with Si Qi. I only felt that I couldn't bear to hurt her; I am a kind person, unwilling to see others sad, but in reality, I keep hurting something. Sometimes I really think I deserve to die—why hasn't such a b*st*rd like me died of a heart attack, alcoholism, or an accident yet?

Luo Luo kept watching me, quietly listening to my rambling.

I knew I was drunk again because I found that I was speaking my true feelings and thoughts. This is something absolutely incredible in normal circumstances.

I felt myself becoming clumsy and inarticulate. I even started to speak honestly and intimately. Perhaps because I had told so many lies before, now, facing the truth, I felt a bit at a loss.

I am not good at opening up to a girl; I am used to flattery. So, when I revealed my true feelings, I couldn't control my emotions. I became anxious, restless, and prone to overthinking. I even became fearful.

I, Chen Yang, a bad person and a player in everyone's eyes, was actually speaking sincerely to a girl.

I decided to forgive myself, after all, I was drunk. I think what a drunk person does can be forgiven.

In fact, I also decided to forgive myself for another matter, which concerns this girl in front of me—Chen Luo Luo.

I originally didn't want to see her. Yes, she had caused me such a big trouble, I was barely able to restrain my anger.

So I found the first excuse for myself: returning the car.

I had planned to return the car and then leave immediately. But she invited me to drink at a bar.

So I found the second excuse: I should stay and then properly scold her.

But she asked me with that gentle, charming demeanor what had happened, and her concerned expression on her face...

So I found a third excuse: it was a misunderstanding, and it wasn't entirely her fault.

Originally, I planned to give her a few perfunctory remarks and leave, but I ended up revealing a lot of my true feelings.

Luo Luo still smiled charmingly. Her vibrant expressions or subtle smiles made me inexplicably flustered. With her pointed remarks and laughter, she turned my pretense to ashes.

At this moment, I started to feel a bit scared.

Yes, I was scared. An inexplicable fear, I didn't know what I was afraid of or why. When I realized that Chen Luo Luo's charming smile was the source of my fear, I could only use drinking to cover it up.

The number of beer bottles in front of me kept increasing, my eyes were getting redder, and her smile grew deeper.

Okay, I admit, aside from those excuses I don't even believe myself.

The real reason is, I met this woman simply because I was very curious about her.

In fact, ever since I learned her name, I have had a strange feeling in my mind. I don't know how to describe it, but it feels like when you dream and see a cliff ahead, you know you shouldn't move forward, but your legs just can't stop moving.

Yes, her name.

Her name gave me a sense of inexplicable destiny.

I kept mulling over these thoughts in my mind while the two of us remained silent for a while.

Luo Luo's eyes held an indescribable emotion, but she only smiled.

I sighed and continued drinking.

After a while, I said weakly, "Well, you've caused me trouble too. My girlfriend saw the socks you left and wanted to tear me apart!"

Luo Luo smiled slightly and said, "I didn't do it on purpose. We were all drunk yesterday, and in the rush, I didn't notice." She thought for a moment and then smiled at me, "How about I go explain to your girlfriend?"

I quickly shook my hand, "No! I've got enough trouble already, please don't stir things up."

After saying this, I tilted my head back and finished the drink in the bottle. I instinctively wanted to leave. I felt that her smile was increasingly frightening, and every time her gaze shifted across my face, my heart raced uncontrollably.

She just smiled, seemingly seeing through my intentions.

She bit her lip and finally spoke, "You know, since last night, I've thought you're a very interesting person." Luo Luo said softly. "What you told me seemed very real but also very intriguing. You know, when a man shares his emotional troubles with a beautiful woman, it's usually with some ulterior motive."

I widened my eyes, about to say something, but Luo Luo shook her head, "Don't interrupt, let me finish. Very few men would tell me such things; most are either being ingratiating or pretending to be a gentleman. Even if they occasionally say something unpleasant, it's usually just a ploy to gain sympathy. But you, when I said you were pursuing me, you vehemently denied it, as if I had insulted you. When I asked you to join me for a late-night snack, you acted as if you were heroically sacrificing yourself. As if agreeing to it was a great favor to me!"

Luo Luo glared at me after finishing her speech.

I had no words. My mind only had two thoughts:

The first thought was, is this woman like a donkey, pushing forward when she should be moving away?

The second thought was, why does this woman even look so good when she glares?