The Pink Haired Hokage

"Well she was a Konoha girl/raised on Promis—" the sound of a dying clock meeting a wall is the first sign of life she gave all morning. "Damn clock, shut up", said Sakura's dry mouth. She'd smoked her mind the night before with sake and the papers she had to sign. Some local business owner had immediate plans for a shopping mall, which Sakura had to run her mouth about and say, "That sounds like a great idea. Just give me the papers and I'll get them back to you tomorrow, signed and ready for building to begin. This will be great for the village!". It was one of the few moments in her job that brought her joy, then she saw the papers. Stacks miles high hid her creaking desk. "Crap," she muttered, "What have I done?". "I'll get you some coffee," her assistant said, leaving her alone with the monster. Sakura didn't leave until the sun went to sleep and the moon began its midnight run.

In her bed, Sakura slowly lifted her head from the pillow. Carefully she got up, 'Don't let the floorboards creak,' she thought to herself. Squeak! "Son of a bi–". Her assistant burst through the door, "Good Morning Lady Hokage! I have your breakfast ready in your office." "Thank you Sato," Sakura told her. Sato left Sakura to her own devices for nearly a minute when she returned, "Lady Hokage you must hurry up. The stack of papers is growing!". "I'm hurrying," Sakura told Sato. 'That girl isn't as sweet as her name,' Sakura thought to herself. Sakura quickly prepared for her day and stepped across the hall into the Hokage's office to a monstrous stack of hungry papers.

Sakura sat down at her desk and began to eat and do her morning paperwork. "Why did I Accept this job?" she asked herself, "Was it the salesmanship? Kakashi sensei never told me how hard this job was. 'It'll be fine,' he said, 'all it is is sitting at a desk.' Maybe it was the drinking. I should have known that Lady Tsunade had ulterior motives when she asked me to drink with her. 'We're equals now,' Master said, 'we should go drinking together. Just you and me. It'll be fun'. I especially should've known there was something suspicious when Kakashi sensei barged in. I'd never seen him drink until that night. 'I'll race you Sakura,' he said, challenging me to a drinking contest. I never should have accepted. He downed three shots in the time it took me two. But, by the end of the night I was the one who was tipsy. Just as I was about to excuse myself and pay my tab, Tsunade and Kakashi cornered me. 'Do you want to be Hokage?' they asked in unison. 'What, no,' I told them, 'That's Naruto's dream not mine'. 'We tried Naruto,' Kakashi said, 'but he didn't want it'. 'Why didn't he want it?' I asked, 'That seems strange'. 'He said he's not ready for it or something,' Tsunade said, 'but he said that you'd be a great option. You should think about it, Sakura. Follow in my footsteps?'. 'I don't know,' I began, but Kakashi cut me off. 'It'll only be temporary, just for a few months.' 'I guess, if Naruto's ok with it...'. 'Perfect,' Tsunade said, 'your oath is in an hour'. I was too drunk at the time to notice the absurdity of the situation. Within the hour I was sworn in as Konoha's new Hokage." "That's super," said a shooken Sato, "Just don't tell the public that. They may think you're a drunk or something." Sato left soon after. 'How the hell did she get in here?'.

By lunch Sakura was fed up with the paperwork. "That's it!" she shouted, "Sato get in here!". Sato rushed in, "Yes Lady Hokage, how can I help you?". "I'm going to get lunch, do my paperwork". "Of course, I would love to help you in your huge problems," Sato answered, cracks forming at the edges of her mouth, "Take all the time you need". Sakura handed her pen to Sato and dashed out the door to the village streets.

'I need quick food,' Sakura thought, 'Before I'm noticed'. Sakura carefully walked through the village , trying to avoid any unwanted attention. At the edge of her vision she saw a little boy and his mother. "Mommy, that's the Hokage!", the boy points, "She's a drunk!". "Don't point Enmu," his mother said, ignoring the drunk comment. 'She must think I'm a drunk too,' Sakura thought, 'How did that rumor even spread? I might have to have a conversation with the bartender, or did Sato start this?'. Reluctantly, Sakura moved to the village's rooftops to avoid any other unwanted interactions.