~Based On a True Story~
I cannot put into words how much i miss him. Even though it was over a month ago, i still have feelings for him. Hes still perfect. His smile. His teeth. His personality could light up a dark room. I used to hate him. But now i think of him in a diffrent way. He was mine.... hes called me names. It honestly doesnt bother me anymore, after all that happened in November 2012. For a few weeks/days i was already really sad. Someone called me fat and yes i know its true but... it sill hurts ecpesially when it was your best friend. Then it was facing rejection, then actually looking in the mirror and just thinking to yourself that wow everyone is right. I am ugly and so fat eww no one wants me. everyday when i was getting dressed i would look into the mirror just thinking why cant i just stay home today? But i had to face it.
Facing the truth about yourself isnt always easy. No scratch that. Its never eays. So one day i just got really insecure of myself and i took sissors and self harmed. No it honestly didnt make me feel better i just did it as a cry for help. but no it wasnt only those two reasons that i did it. My brother has ADHD and you may thionk its not that bad but... his is. another reason was losing my best friend*no she didnt die* it was my sister. We have diffrent moms but the same dad. She Lived with her mom so she would come over every sunday. Then all of the sudden, she stopped. I never knew why but for three years. Then one day I got off the bus, and there was a car that i didnt reconize in my driveway. Then i saw a girl steping out of the car.... it was her! The first time in three years. She was finally here. I ran to her and i almost started crying.
The last and final reason i self harmed was beacuse my parents spend alot of time with my brother. May i remind you that my brother is only 5 now. I do alot of after school actvites and you see all the kids going home with there parents but my mom or dad hardly ever picked me up. Im always that one that cant get to places because i dont have a ride. Aways.
When basically the whole seventh grade found out i was cutting everyone was coming up to me and saying well... why did u do that whats wrong with you. But my best friends, were there for me and if they are reading this right now. the know who they are. I have always thought of myself as a strong person. Beacuse you know i play sports and im very independent and can take care of myself. but i just broke. ***never keep all your sad feelings in talk to someone.***
