Fuelled by Forever

Ch. 7

Imogen

Jude is acting like nothing happened yesterday.

I can't say it surprises me. He's up early this morning and ready for work. I don't know how he does it. You can see the struggle in his eyes, yet he has no plans to do anything different.

I'm brushing my teeth when he slips into the bathroom, securing his arms around my waist to kiss my neck. "So, I know we haven't really talked about the wedding yet, but how do you feel about December? I found a few venues I think you would like," he says.

I spit the toothpaste out of my mouth. "Absolutely not," I reply.

"Okay," he says with hurt, pulling back. "Jesus, Imogen."

I drop my toothbrush and wipe my mouth so we can discuss this properly. "That gives us weeks to plan. Ideally, I don't think I should be pregnant at our wedding."

"There's no way I'm waiting that long," he says.

I frown. "Why? It's not that long away."

"I'm so damn excited to be your husband that waiting is not an option," he responds, grabbing his work cap.

I understand where he's coming from regarding his excitement because the feeling is very mutual, but it's just not feasible.

"If we wait just a few months longer, it will give us time to plan everything better. You're stressed out enough without adding wedding stress to it," I say, thinking he will surely see why I'm saying this.

"Are you not excited to be my wife?" he asks, forehead creasing.

I stare at him. "That's not fair of you."

He stares back. "What's not fair?"

My arms go up. "You're asking if I'm not excited just because I don't want to do something you do. That's not fair."

He sighs. "It's agony to think about waiting another minute longer."

I leave the bathroom when my throat grows tight because seeing him this desperate is actually slightly alarming. I saw a similar pattern with my past relationship, and for the first time in my relationship with Jude, I'm turned off.

Jude follows me. "I don't get why we would wait. I want our daughter to be born with her parents married. Don't you think it's important?"

"I need a minute," I tell him when he trails me to the kitchen. "Jude, give me a minute! I'm seriously triggered right now by you pushing the situation on me. My father and Tyler would do this to me when they felt like they weren't getting their point across and it's distressing."

At the tone of my voice, he stops in his tracks.

"This is a lot. You are not well and god-damn ignoring things again. Acting like yesterday didn't happen. Then you're getting all hot-headed with me over when you want to get married, and because I don't feel the same, you're mad without listening to why I don't want the same. I'm bigger than I ever have been and will only get bigger. The thought of squeezing into a wedding dress makes me feel sick!" And with that, I walk to the other side of the kitchen island before leaving the room.

"You're beautiful," he says, still trailing me. "I love your body like this. I love your body always."

"Well, I don't!" I shout as I spin to face him.

I'm tired, hormonal, and feeling pressured—not a good combination. Jude will do well to give me some space, but of course, he's concerned now and wants to check on me.