Girls? [xxxxxxx]

F O U R T E E N

not edited x

I wanted to post this straight away!! I wrote this all in one sitting (tonight) and it's about 1.4k words :)

I apologise, it's been well over a month. I would make up an excuse, but it would be a lie. Thanks for sticking with me xxxx

WARNING: there's a light scene were someone breaks down (panic attack). I want you to know that an attack can happen because of anything minor. Sometimes the smallest things can trigger someone, a sentence or an action. REMEMBER: No problem is ever too small!!!!! A problem's a problem and it can always be fixed somehow.

"Niall said that I'm cute, hey," Louis snickers, throwing a big wink in Gemma's direction.

His voice cuts the silence of the room. They had quickly scurried to the lounge room, following Gemma's lead. Louis had slapped Harry's ass hard, and the whooshing motion and the contact itself was loud enough for Gemma to hear. He didn't say anything, but he had glared at Louis, a little embarrassed in front of his big sister. When he settled on the couch, right opposite the TV and diagonal from the single sofa, Louis had fitted himself between the armrest and Harry himself. Their thighs are pressed together and Louis' arm is resting around Harry's shoulders, fiddling with a few stray curls that twirl around his neck.

"Yes," Gemma responds, her voice calculated and amused, "Cute as button, is what Harry used to describe you."

Harry's cheeks flush with blood, getting hotter when Louis looks back at him with a smirk and sparkling eyes. Louis gives him a look, almost saying, "Is that so?" Harry does a little shrug in response and looks away, teeth biting his bottom lip as he tries not to smile. He looks down, looking for something to distract himself with, but his cheeks literally burn when he realises that he's still not wearing anything but his boxers and a sweater.

"I think I'm going to get changed," he states, but doesn't move away. He's not sure if he should leave Gemma and Louis alone together just yet.

Gemma rolls her eyes, clearly not caring. Louis smiles at him, looking like the cute button that he is, "I think you think too much."

"Did you stalk me on Twitter?" He asks, mouth wide open in surprise.

"Go suffocate your dick with your jeans," Louis tuts, practically waving him away with a limp wrist, "I need to bitch about your Twitter. Go on now."

He comes to a weary stand and then stalks down the hallway, trying not to look back. Louis' whispering about something and Gemma's giggling. He stumbles into his room and jumps around, wriggling his hips, as he tries to pull up his jeans. He gets distracted halfway through, because he spots his phone on his bed. He grabs it and immediately texts Niall.

Gemma!!! Louis!!!! together!!!!!

He waits several seconds, but when he doesn't get a reply straight away he returns to his jeans. Gemma's laughing really loudly now and he can hear Louis' light, satisfied giggles. He hurries out of the room. He comes to a slower pace when he reaches the lounge, gleeful to see that his two best friends are getting along. He hopes they're not bonding over embarrassing things that he's done before. Like--

"I remember this one time when Harry thought he was pregnant. He called me up at three in the morning, telling me about how he swapped internal organs with a pregnant lady when he bumped into her!" Gemma exclaims, "He kept on saying that he was craving pickles and how bloated his stomach was becoming. He forced me to come over and feel the baby kick. Turns out Niall freaked him out a little. Plus, he had smoked, like, three joints."

"Okay, that's enough," Harry hisses, bright red.

Louis looks up at him with narrowed eyes, the ocean becoming puddles, "So you have gotten high before."

Gemma snorts into her hand, the tips of her fingers in her mouth. She always gets nervous after telling a story, not sure if the listeners got bored or not. She mumbles, "Course he has. He used to get in trouble all the time. His clothes used to stink of smoke."

"I was, like, 17. I was experimenting," he explains, even though he knows that Louis wouldn't judge him. He knows that Louis does all that shit now, but his heart is beating faster and his fingers have gone numb. He glances at Gemma, who's staring at him with wide eyes and tight lips.

"You don't need an excuse," Louis states. He runs a hand through his hair, shaping it to fall over one side of his forehead.

Harry gives him a small smile. He scratches idly at his neck and then turns towards the kitchen. "Tea," he just says.

He empties out the kettle, even though he had just filled it half an hour ago. He switches it on and waits for the boiling bubbles to enlarge. He leans against the bench and looks up, only to see Louis.

They just stare at each other for a little while. Harry feels like he's drowning, that water is just gushing through his body. It's not polite or nice, not feeding the seeds that should develop into flowers. Instead it's dampening the soil, causing muddy water to terminate the desperate flowers.

He feels awkward. He feels like this shouldn't really feel like a big deal. So what if he cocked up a little, he turned out okay. Sometimes he just can't control his embarrassment or the nervous feeling that floats around in his body, and that time is now. To his shock, he nearly sobs when Louis smiles at him.

"Hey," Louis says softly, appearing closer. His eyes sparkle with concern.

"Sorry, it's stupid. I'm freaking out over something stupid, I'm sorry," he croaks. He gulps. His mouth feels dry.

"What's wrong?" Louis questions, taking Harry's wrists into his hands, "What are you scared of?"

"I just... I don't know, it's just. I'm not like that anymore--not like there would be anything wrong being like that! I actually don't know. I'm talking crap. I just feel overwhelmed. My hearts beating so fast and I don't know why. Louis, I trust you. I don't know why," he rambles. He looks over to the lounge and Gemma is staring at the two of them, concerned. She looks away as soon as she's caught. He focuses on Louis instead. "I trust you."

He feels stupid as soon as he repeats it, because he barely knows Louis. Louis has never seen him like this. Louis shouldn't have to deal with this. He buries a small hand in Harry's hair, fingers slightly massaging the scalp.

"You're freaking out over nothing, I can assure you that. I promise. I don't care what you did when you were a kid. I promise you."

Harry remains silent, trying to steady his breathing. He didn't even know that he was huffing frantically. He screws his eyes shut. A second later Louis kisses his eyelid.

"I don't know," he says again. He opens his eyes, seeing Louis on stretching on his toes and his jaw right next to Harry's mouth. Harry gives him a quick kiss.

"You do. You just think it's stupid so you're not telling me," Louis tells him, "You don't have to tell me."

But Harry really doesn't know. There's a strange feeling in his chest. Louis gets closer. He feels like he's glowing, but shuddering like lightning.

"You know, when you said you were experimenting, I thought you meant your sexuality," Louis thoughtfully hums. He twirls a long strange of Harry's hair around his finger. "But then I understood."

"I'm all about girls, I suppose," Harry says softly. His hands are still shaking, even though they're gripped around Louis' biceps now.

"You're still young. You're still experimenting now--with me," Louis says, a little bewildered, "Yeah, we're experimenting a little."

Harry blinks slowly. "You're my friend."

"Yes! We're friends that like to kiss and share secrets and do things. Of course we are," Louis reassures quickly.

"You're not just an experiment," he informs Louis, voice slow and shuddery.

Louis shrinks a little bit, standing with his feet placed firmly on the ground. He's looking up at Harry, the shadows of his eyelashes drawn across the high points of his cheeks. "Friends."

"Friends," Harry echoes.

AN: much love xxxxxxx